


heaven in hiding

by karasunotsubasa



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: A Little Bit Of Crack, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, Blowjobs, Butt Plugs, Childhood Friends, Creampie, Declarations Of Love, Desk Sex, Dirty Talk, Drama, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hand Feeding, I mean just a little bit of plot, Light Angst, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Mild Painplay, Misunderstandings, Murder Mystery, Painplay, Phone Sex, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Possible OOC-ness, Praise Kink, Public Blow Jobs, Raw Sex, Rich Boys AU, Roleplay, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, Spanking, Undecided Relationship(s), Vibrators, Yuuri Is a Tease, and that's exactly what he gets, but victor is still the bigger tease, cheap plot you'll be able to figure out in a blink, it's basically just smut ngl, lots of smut, meeting years after, phichit for best wingman of life, subtle orgasm denial, undies on fuck, vibrator play in public, victor is fragile as glass when it comes to yuuri, vitya is a good boy and deserves a ride, yurio is a child and throws tantrums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-30 08:00:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11459382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasunotsubasa/pseuds/karasunotsubasa
Summary: "Yuuri," he finally said when the day room's occupants thinned out. "Yuuri as in Yuuri Katsuki.""Would that have changed anything? If you knew, then?" Yuuri asked, knowing very well it would have.Victor didn't reply, but his face said the same thing.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------orthat fic in which they fuck a lot and start dating without yuuri knowing, but somehow they end up falling in love all the same... except yuuri's been in love all along and it's impossible to hide when his childhood crush is undeniably into him





	1. no time for wishful thinking

**Author's Note:**

> wow okay I'm a little bamboozled that I actually managed to write this in time bc I've barely just got my diploma last week and it's been crazy and I had so little time but !!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID IT HOLY FUCK AND THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER AHHHHHH (I'm hype okay sorry)  
> anyway, this is a fic I wrote specifically for [@nsfw-victuuri-week](http://nsfw-victuuri-week.tumblr.com/) and as you can guess it's gonna be smut. lots of it. with little to no plot but if u know me u know I can't smut without feels so there's gonna be plot lmao  
> hope yall will enjoy~
> 
> the title of this work and all the chapters comes from [halsey's heaven in hiding](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB6oIdz_ZXo) which I feel like was a heavy inspiration for this fic so if you don't know it pls give it a listen!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **day 1: exploration**

 

Phichit squeezed Yuuri's elbow hard, urgent and excited, before he whispered: "He's here."

"Who?" Yuuri blinked.

There were enough people around to make him shift uncomfortably in his seat somewhere in the third row behind the dug up patch of dirt where they would be soon burying someone his whole family considered a friend. The sun was blearing hot on the top of his head, people's gazes burned into his neck, their whispers buzzing around him like an agitated hive, all the while his tie choked his breath out little by little. His fingers twitched to undo the tight knot, but he restrained himself by putting his palms flat on his knees.

He almost jumped when Phichit moved from the seat in the row behind Yuuri and slid into the one next to his, pressing close and almost toppling Yuuri over in his haste to look into the crowd behind them.

"Victor."

"Victor?"

Phichit's eyes snapped to his at his bland tone. His mouth opened in a small, incredulous 'o'.

"Come on, Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov? The heir to Nikiforov Enterprises, the son of the man we're here to bury? The older version of the boy whose picture you still keep on your desk?" Phichit's lips quirked in a teasing grin. "Or do I need to bring up all the other ones as well to jog your memory?"

Yuuri's cheeks turned pink. "Oh, shut up."

Phichit only swallowed a laugh, craning his neck to look over Yuuri's shoulder again.

"How do you know he's going to be here?" Yuuri asked, twisting around to follow Phichit's gaze. "He's been in Europe for so long, why would he suddenly–" Yuuri turned his head back to avoid the sun that was shining right into his eyes and caught himself looking at the empty pit in the ground visible right between his parents' shoulders. "Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_ ," Phichit agreed. "If anything, he wouldn't miss his father's funeral. You should know that better than anyone."

Yuuri did.

Or at least he knew that the Victor he remembered wouldn't have. It's been years since they'd last seen each other, and far longer since they truly talked, so... Yuuri couldn't be sure anymore.

He found himself looking back over his shoulder and trying to find a familiar silhouette in the sea of people who had come to say goodbye to one of the wealthiest men to have lived. Black suits, black dresses, black veils and gloves and–

_There he was._

Guiding his mother through the rows of chairs up to the front, clad in black like everyone, but standing in stark contrast against the masses – Victor's hair, now short just below his eye, shone like the moon reflecting the morning sun. They passed by Yuuri's seat, so dignified and poised, almost as if this death, this funeral was nothing more than another business formality to take care of.

Briefly, Yuuri wondered if this was what this new Victor thought of it, if this was who he was now, but before he could make a decision the coffin was brought out to the front and the ceremony started.

Phichit elbowed him lightly.

"So what are you going to do?" he whispered.

"What am I going to do?" Yuuri whispered back, confused.

Phichit pointed at Victor with his chin and they both stared at Victor's light hair: Phichit curiously, Yuuri with nostalgia. Was there anything he could do? What for? They were just strangers at this point. There was nothing he could do, and nothing he should do.

"I know you, Yuuri," Phichit said, giving him a look. "You've been pining after him all this time, surely this is a chance you wouldn't want to miss? Even if to just get closure."

Yuuri's lips quirked in a wry smile. He shook his head.

"It's his father's funeral, Phichit," he pointed out. "I'm not going to do anything."

His eyes never left the back of Victor's head, and for just a moment, then, his heart wished for something...

"But–" Phichit tried again.

"No," Yuuri told both: Phichit, and his treacherous heart that wanted more than it could ever have.

 

***

 

There was a clammy hand in his, pulling him through the ridiculously lush corridor, guiding him through door after door, and Yuuri found himself following it willingly. He squeezed the slippery fingers and a second later he was pushed against the wall as his lips were claimed roughly in a clumsy kiss. Breath stained with alcohol would normally make him wrinkle his nose and pull away, but this...

"Just a little longer," Victor panted into his mouth. "We're almost there."

Almost was not almost at all, because they stopped every few steps, coming into each other like magnets that were not able to resist the pull. They sneaked through the kitchen, ignoring the disapproving gazes of the staff working full time to dish out food for the wake that was held above deck As soon as they all saw Victor though, they turned their heads respectfully, and Yuuri marvelled at what name, money, and power could bring before Victor pushed the double winged swing doors and grinned at Yuuri, making his heart flutter like a bird locked in a cage of its own bones.

There were no thoughts about that then. No thoughts at all. Except for Victor's sweaty hand and his bright eyes and smiling, beautiful mouth.

Yuuri was an idiot. That was all there was to it.

He promised himself that nothing would happen, that nothing would come out of this unexpected meeting. But here, now, as he reached for the flap of Victor's jacket to pull him close, steal his air, his breath, his touch, his lips, did any of it matter?

Victor's hands slipped under Yuuri's jacket, hot against his sides, gentle on the curve of his spine, and so, so welcome, all of Yuuri's doubts and concerns seemed to fly away. He pushed up close, pressing into Victor and making them both stumble into the closest wall with a huff. Victor laughed, a soft, deep sound that sent a wave of something shaky and vulnerable through Yuuri's body.

Victor's lips opened as if he wanted to say something, but Yuuri couldn't hear it now. He slipped his hand into Victor's hair – the short, short hair, that still felt like silk on his fingers, so achingly familiar – and brought him down into another kiss.

He'd imagined kissing him many times before. When he was a teenager, and even later on, but the reality of it wasn't as good as his imagination was. He'd come to realize it fast. Victor's lips were soft, delicate. Yuuri loved it, but he definitely loved more how they roughly pressed against his, how hard they chased after his own. He'd used to imagine that kissing Victor would be magical and full of fluttering heartbeats and feelings, but now there was none of that – only pure, raw need and passion, and a tongue tasting of alcohol rubbing against his own.

The half hard jut of Victor's dick was pressing high into his thigh and Yuuri shifted against it. As if on cue, Victor's hands grabbed at his ass, pressing him closer and grinding against him with no less vigour. They groaned into each other's mouth.

"Come on. I want to have you already," Victor finally said, pulling him away from their spot again, and Yuuri couldn't admit even to himself that he missed the feeling of Victor's fingers biting hard into his ass cheeks.

They stumbled through another corridor, rushed, almost running. Their hands remained locked, fingers threaded like two sides of the same seam coming together.

Victor opened the next door with a key. He fumbled a little and Yuuri, waiting, looked around. They were in the part of the Nikiforov's yacht that he'd never been to: decorations were a little less posh, a bit more warm, cosy, homey. Right in front of the room there was a huge floor-to-ceiling mirror and Yuuri couldn't help but stare at his own reflection a little fearfully.

His face was flushed a deep red, his hair was messy and sweaty, and his clothes hanged on him like someone has been trying to rip them off, but all that wasn't what made Yuuri stare. His lips were swollen, red, wet and glistening. His eyes were large and dark with lust. His neck was peppered with hickeys that no high collar would be able to cover. He looked... positively fucked.

"Finally..."

The door was bashed open and before he could utter a word, Yuuri was pulled inside, twirled and pressed against the wood the moment Victor closed it behind them. The very real proof of how fucked Yuuri truly was ground into Yuuri's crotch with renewed enthusiasm, which he approved of wholeheartedly. He let out an involuntary moan, which Victor greedily swallowed with a kiss that Yuuri couldn't deny him. In truth, all he wanted was to pull him closer, throw his arms around his shoulders and taste the alcohol on his tongue one more time, but the image of himself from the mirror buzzed around his mind like a fly that he couldn't swat at fast enough.

Already mourning the feel of Victor's lips, he pushed on Victor's chest lightly. Victor went with it without any resistance and Yuuri had to close his eyes to gather his thoughts and resolve.

"We shouldn't be doing this," he said, voice rough even to his own ears. If he wasn't already flushed hot, he would probably blush at how it sounded. "It's your father's wake, we shouldn't be sending him off like this."

For the first time that evening, something other than small smiles and blankness crossed Victor's face. He stepped back from Yuuri, turning his face away.

"I know that," he replied. "I know that, but this is just... too much. All those people with their fake condolences and–" He stopped, taking a deep breath and raking a hand through his hair before looking at Yuuri again. "I just want to forget everything for a moment."

Yuuri let the back of his head fall against the door. What could he say to that? What could he say that would make Victor feel better?

"Okay," he breathed.

Opening his eyes again, he searched Victor's face, so strangely frail in that single moment that Yuuri knew he would do anything for him then. Their gazes met and Yuuri knew that this was a mistake, that maybe they would grow to hate each other for this, that maybe this would be them crushing and burning, but for now that didn't matter.

"Okay," he repeated.

Victor offered him a hand and Yuuri took it, sliding his fingers between Victor's as he pressed himself into Victor's chest. Victor's arm rested around his waist right before their lips met again, and that was it. The deal was sealed and the sweet kiss they shared was a burning reminder of that.

The room they were in had a huge bed in the centre and they clumsily moved towards it. Yuuri pushed Victor's jacket off his shoulders, shrugging his own as he watched how Victor angrily tugged at his sleeves. They kissed again as Yuuri slowly worked open Victor's shirt buttons, fingers stiff and numb with something that wasn't exactly fear, but was scarily close to it.

His back hit the bed first and Victor climbed on top of him, shirt hanging open, chest at full display, blue eyes boring into Yuuri's and hair, beautiful, silver hair falling down in a cascade of moonlight. Yuuri lifted his hand to Victor's cheek before he could stop himself. Victor's eyes widened slightly at the surprisingly touching gesture and Yuuri's pulse quickened as he told himself "Stupid, stupid, stupid," in his mind.

He recovered quickly by slipping his hand further, onto the back of Victor's head, and pulling him down into another kiss. It seemed like it was an ample distraction, because Victor's hips rolled down into Yuuri's not a second later. They ground into each other, the friction on their half hard dicks too good to stop.

Soon, though, it wasn't enough.

Yuuri hooked one leg around Victor's thigh and flipped them over with little effort. Victor stared up at him, looking breathless and dazed, and Yuuri couldn't help himself – this was what he'd always dreamed of doing.

He licked his lips, sitting back and unbuttoning his shirt button by button. Victor's eyes were following his every move and Yuuri loved the attention, even though he never had before. He slowly let the material fall, dropping the shirt to the floor. He pushed his messy hair out of his face and, feeling Victor's gaze, ran his hand down: down the side of his neck, his chest, fingers slipping past his perky nipples, down, down, down his stomach to the line of his pants where he opened the button and the zipper, and even further, palm pressing against the bulge of Victor's crotch.

Victor's sharp intake of breath was all the encouragement he needed to palm at it. Victor's eyes fluttered shut, his cheeks pinking, mouth open on a breath. Yuuri ground the heel of his hand into the half hard flesh, loving the twitch of Victor's hips he could feel in his thighs. His fingers slid the zipper of Victor's slacks down, and then he unbuttoned them completely to pull them off. He leaned to kiss right below Victor's navel at the same time as he released Victor's dick from the fabric of his pants and underwear at the same time.

Victor rested his hand in Yuuri's hair, pushing it out of the way and letting Yuuri have a clear view of his face when he glanced up. Victor groaned, lifting his hips, and Yuuri felt the brush of his length against his bare chest. He licked his lips.

Before he could do anything, though, Victor pulled him roughly up and kissed him. Tongue fucking into his mouth, Yuuri moaned. He clung to Victor's shoulder for support, letting Victor's dick rub against his still clothed ass.

"Do you have lube?" he asked, when they paused for a breath.

Victor cursed. "I knew I forgot something."

Yuuri almost smiled.

"That's fine, we'll improvise," he said, pressing a kiss to the corner of Victor's mouth and another to his chin before he pushed him down again and started kissing a trail down his chest.

Victor was beautiful, that much anyone could tell at first glance. His face was sharp, his mouth perfectly shaped, eyes a lovely blue, hair a stunning, unmatched silver. He was built like something out of a fantasy, and Yuuri was more than happy to explore what he was given. He licked and kissed at the pale, pale skin, looking for the ways, spots, to make Victor arch into him, voicelessly beg him for more.

And he'd found them: the place behind his ear that made Victor shiver deliciously, the line of his last rib that made him melt into the mattress with a sigh, the sensitive navel that Yuuri sunk his tongue into for the most honest of moans. He dipped his head lower, looking up at Victor whose eyes followed his descent with desperate need, and pressed his nose right into the tuft of trimmed silver hair above Victor's groin. He rubbed at it, inhaling the strong scent and juxtaposing it in his mind against what he'd always imagined Victor would smell like.

It paled in comparison.

Nothing could've prepared Yuuri for this, not his past lovers, not his imagination. Victor smelled like sweat, meshed with alcohol and his natural musk, strong, almost too strong, and Yuuri couldn't help but moan when it filled his lungs. His own dick pulsed once and it was incredibly hard to hold back from rubbing himself on the mattress then and there.

Instead, Yuuri focused on what was before him. With no hesitation he wrapped his fingers around Victor's dick, weighing it in his hand. It wasn't as thick as his own, but it was long and shaped in a way that made Yuuri's mouth water. He breathed in greedily, licked his lips, and with a glance up pushed the dick to stand before he nuzzled his cheek against it. It was silky smooth and frankly, it felt amazing.

"Do you want me to–" he started, but Victor interrupted him hastily.

"Yes, yes, _oh god_ , yes, _please_!"

Yuuri chuckled a little, hiding his blush at Victor's enthusiasm behind Victor's dick. He pressed his lips to the base and dragged them up to the place where the pink head was slowly leaking. Opening his mouth just a little he left and wet kiss to the very tip, following it with a small lick at the slit. Victor's quiet moan was lost in his own when he immediately after took the whole head inside his mouth and twirled his tongue around it, sucking, unable to resist it. The taste, salty, thick, overpowering, melted in the heat of his mouth and Yuuri could no longer help himself.

He wanted more.

So much more.

He pushed his head down, taking Victor's dick as far as he could. His mouth was stuffed, he could hardly breathe, but it felt good. Finally. He'd dreamed about this, fantasised about this, and now, _finally_ , he could swallow the thick saliva inside his mouth and taste Victor on his tongue.

He moaned again, bobbing his head on Victor's dick and wishing he could have it inside him instead. Victor's fingers found their way to the back of his head and Yuuri read his intent – he slackened his jaw, throwing a brief glance up at Victor, before Victor's hips moved and he fucked himself into Yuuri's mouth.

The groan that left Victor's lips when his dick hit the back of Yuuri's throat was so deep it reverberated through Yuuri's body, straight into the pulsing heat between his legs. It was hard not to reach down and palm himself through his pants, but Yuuri resisted.

This was all about Victor. All for Victor.

He used one hand to support himself and the other he wrapped around the base of Victor's dick where his mouth couldn't reach, stroking him in tune with Victor's rhythm.

"Fuck," Victor moaned. "Your mouth feels so good, so soft. I feel like I'm gonna come any second." Yuuri tightened his grip, pulling a groan from Victor. "Say, can I come on your face? I– Fuck, _please_..."

Yuuri's dick twitched at the sheer need in Victor's voice. The sound that left his throat was something between a hum and a moan, he didn't know what it was himself, but yes, he wanted it just as much. Victor's thrusts became more erratic, deeper, almost making Yuuri gag with the force, but he simply closed his eyes and let Victor do as he pleased.

He almost missed the moment when Victor pulled away, but the emptiness in his mouth made him blink hazily and look up just in time to see Victor stroking himself right before his face. There was a deep flush splotched across Victor's face and neck, and his eyes were glossy, needy, desperate. Yuuri licked his lips and _yes_ , Victor's hips bucked once and the warm strings of come coated Yuuri's face. From his brow to his mouth, some splashed on his cheek, some into his hair, some on his glasses, and Yuuri greedily took on all of it.

Once Victor's hand stopped, Yuuri leaned closer to lick his dick clean without a care for his face. Victor whimpered softly every time Yuuri's tongue slid across the oversensitive head, but he didn't ask him to stop. Yuuri couldn't say he hated it.

With a small smile quirking up his mouth he crawled up, gazing down into Victor's satisfied face. Victor's eyes were closed, but he was still just as flushed. Yuuri found that the uneven blush looked as stunning on him as anything else had. He rubbed at the barely visible hickey he'd left on the side of Victor's neck and Victor's eyes opened to look at him with something vulnerable, something fragile, something so intimate that Yuuri's stomach churned with worry.

Before either of them could say anything, a phone rang somewhere on the level of the floor and they both froze. Like in Cinderella's story when the magic of the moment dispersed when the clock ticked midnight, their clock was just as merciless even if it was only a phone.

Yuuri pushed himself off of Victor and Victor sat up, searching the pockets of his pants that pooled around his ankles. Yuuri didn't need to look to know what was coming. He slumped on the bed, throat raw, hard dick still unsatisfied, and cum drying on his face.

He wanted to laugh. Or cry. Possibly both.

"I'm so sorry," Victor was saying, but Yuuri heard him almost as if through a wall. "I have to go. My mother–"

"It's fine," Yuuri interrupted him, voice cracking. He cleared his throat and added, "Go."

He didn't look at Victor. He couldn't.

How do you look at a childhood friend, at a childhood _crush_ , who you haven't seen for years and with whom, when you're finally reunited at his father's funeral, you hook up and who cums on your face only to leave without getting you off? _How_?

His eyes stung.

"I'm sorry," Victor said again, and weirdly enough Yuuri thought he sounded contrite. "I don't even know your name, but I really had a good time. Maybe I could make it up to you somehow?"

Yuuri almost laughed out loud.

Instead, he pushed his glasses up over his head and covered his eyes with his arm. His lips curled into a smile that was neither happy, nor sultry. It was bitter and upset, because _what else did he expect_?

He was quiet for so long that he felt the bed shift when Victor stood up. The only sound that broke the silence was the rustle of Victor's clothes as he put them back on to look semi-proper. So this is it, Yuuri thought. He didn't say anything out loud until the room fell into complete quiet again.

Victor was clearly waiting. Why, Yuuri didn't know. He got what he wanted so why was he waiting?

"Yuuri," Yuuri finally said, hating himself for being so weak.

"It's nice to meet you, Yuuri," Victor said, relief so thick in his voice that Yuuri had to bite his lip to stop it from trembling. "If we ever bump into each other again, I wouldn't mind returning a favour, just so you know."

And because Yuuri was stupid when it came to this, when it came to anything Victor Nikiforov was and did, he opened his mouth and gripped out, "Sure."

 

***

 

"Good afternoon, sir, do you have the–"

Yuuri flashed the doorman his invitation and stepped into the Nikiforov mansion when the man opened the door for him. A waiter immediately offered him a flute of champagne, but he waved him off. He didn't need to be drunk for this and knowing his nerves stopping at one glass would be too hard. Looking through the crowd already gathered in the day room on the ground floor, Yuuri spotted his parents and sister talking cheerfully to the very person Yuuri wanted to avoid. He sighed.

Victor's smile was wider than it was at his father's funeral only a week before and for just a moment Yuuri hesitated. Should he do this? His very presence would be a remainder to Victor, almost a slap in the face and a spiteful "Look at how you honoured your father." Yuuri swallowed hard.

And then he made his way over.

"I hope I didn't miss anything important," he said as a way of greeting, eyes fleeting to Victor for just a second before moving to rest someplace safer – his sister's pierced ear.

His shoulders were tense, his body vibrating with nerves and he really, truly, wanted to be anywhere else. Especially when–

"Yuuri!"

It was Victor, and Yuuri glanced at him to see the shock he'd expected, the surprised he'd caused, the furrow of his brow. His mouth felt too dry to speak, his throat too tight to make a sound, his lungs so full of breath he couldn't breathe.

"Yuuri." His mother called as well, and thankfully, Yuuri turned to her only to flush when she reached out to fix his tie for him. "It's good you could make it. We were just telling Vicchan how much you've missed him over the years."

"Mom, please." Yuuri's blush deepened, even as he glanced up to see how pale Victor's lips got against the rest of his face. "I think he already knows that."

The way Victor's eyes widened then made Yuuri wish he didn't say it at all. He looked stricken, pale and terrified, and Yuuri knew it was all his fault.

There wasn't much time for them to talk though, because the door leading into the dining room were already opening and Victor's mother started inviting everyone inside for the main course.

"We'll let you two catch up just a little," Yuuri's mother said, turning and smiling at Victor kindly. "We hope to see your around more now that you're back, Vicchan."

She patted his arm and Victor nodded dumbly, plastering a fake smile onto his pale, pale face. "Of course, Katsuki-san."

They walked away, followed by Mari, who threw Yuuri a curious glance, but he ignored her raised in question eyebrow in order to look at Victor. Who was clearly still in shock.

"Yuuri," he finally said when the day room's occupants thinned out. "Yuuri as in Yuuri Katsuki."

"Would that have changed anything? If you knew, then?" Yuuri asked, knowing very well it would have.

Victor didn't reply, but his face said the same thing.

They stood there for a moment, Yuuri watching him and Victor avoiding his gaze and biting his lips. His perfectly soft lips that Yuuri still remembered the feeling of on his own. As if coming to a decision, Victor's shoulders straightened and he looked Yuuri straight in the eye.

"I think–"

"Victor!"

They both turned at the call to see Victor's mother impatiently waving Victor over. Like a déjà vu of their encounter last week, Victor looked at Yuuri and Yuuri shook his head in dry amusement.

"Go," he said.

Before he did, however, Victor stepped closer to Yuuri, squeezing his arm in a silent promise that made Yuuri's skin crawl with hope or fear, he didn't know which, but he knew that when they finally get to talk it will be a conversation he won't be able to forget. Ever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup I know yall will love me for this angst but let me just tell you that THEY GET SO GROSS SO FAST I SWEAR //wipes a tear away


	2. call me 'sweet thing'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **day 2: clothes**  
>  treated v lightly, just saying

 

He was almost out the door, Phichit spamming him with "HURRY UR ASS UP KATSOOKi" texts when his mother caught a glimpse of him running through the hallway.

"Yuuri!" she called, waving to him through the open door of the office. Swallowing a curse, he stopped and waited until she got up and walked up to him. "I'm glad I caught you."

"Did you need something while I'm out?"

"No, no." She shook her head, handing him a small piece of paper with a number scribbled onto it. "Vicchan just called and asked me about your plans for the evening. I said I wasn't sure, so he asked me to give you his number. You should call him, see what this is about. It sounded urgent."

It was. Yuuri could only imagine the things that must be going on in Victor's head. If they were half as bad as the ones in his then it would definitely be something urgent. And not pleasurable in the least.

A little out of breath, even though he wasn't running anymore, he hid the number in his pocket with a slightly shaky hand. His mother must have seen something in his face, because she took his hand and squeezed it, giving him a smile like only mothers could.

"I'm glad to see you two getting along again," she said. "I know how hard you took it when he left. You should take your time and get to know each other again. He probably changed as much as you have."

Yuuri wanted to tell her "I know," but how do you explain to your mother that you fucked your teenage crush during his father's wake? He only smiled at her, a forced grimace of a smile, and nodded.

"I'll do just that," he lied.

 

***

 

It was all Phichit's fault that Yuuri was sitting with Victor Nikiforov in one of the most expensive restaurants in the city. Frankly, _all of it_ was Phichit's fault. He put the idea in Yuuri's head, made him think of the what ifs and could haves. He even dialled Victor's number for Yuuri that afternoon when Yuuri hesitated to do so himself. So really, Yuuri could blame Phichit for his current situation without feeling like too bad of a friend.

But he didn't, because as much as he knew he could, he also knew the blame rested solely with him. And Victor was just as aware of that.

"I will have to admit that I honestly didn't recognize you, Yuuri," Victor said conversationally once the waiter took their orders and disappeared. "You've changed."

A knot of nerves tied tightly somewhere in Yuuri's belly pulsed and for a second he felt nauseous. He took a shallow breath through his mouth, forcing on a smile that didn't even fight to reach his eyes.

"Did you really think I'd still be twelve when you come back?" he answered with a question.

Victor gave him a sheepish smile that clearly told Yuuri he didn't think of that, _of him_ , at all. It stung a little and Yuuri looked away from him, unable to stand the open curiosity in Victor's eyes.

"It's been years, Victor. People change."

He reached out to take a drink of his water, something to busy himself with under the uncomfortable weight of the silence, but Victor's hand moved at the same time. He caught Yuuri's fingers before he could take his glass, holding them until Yuuri's eyes returned to him, peeved and flittering.

"I cannot argue with that," Victor replied, giving him a quirked smile before lifting Yuuri's hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles, light as a feather, but burning like coals on Yuuri's skin, "since you've turned out absolutely captivating."

Yuuri's nerves flared, a thunder of his heartbeat loud in his own ears, as blood rushed to his cheeks at Victor's words. He snatched his hand away, putting it in his lap and wringing both his hands together. Without looking at Victor, he mumbled:

"Well, so are you." And after a second, to himself, "Now that I can actually say that without it being creepy coming from a child it doesn't have that much punch anymore."

Victor's laughter startled him a little and Yuuri's gaze snapped to him automatically. There was a subtle flush on Victor's cheeks, or maybe that was simply the lighting of the restaurant playing tricks on Yuuri, he couldn't tell. Either way, the smile that Victor was directing at him was light and amused, and somehow, even though the elephant was clearly still in the room, Yuuri felt himself at ease enough to return it with a small smile of his own.

"You should've told me that when we were younger then," Victor teased.

"You say that like it's easy. Do you have any idea what being around you was doing to me?"

Yuuri shook his head, settling back against his chair. His belly was still knotted tight, but the paralyzing fear was slowly unravelling. And with it, so was his tongue.

"Can you imagine having your first crush ever so close?" he asked, this time successfully reaching for his water and taking a sip of it, all the while watching Victor's face soften as he talked. "It was horrifying."

"That's so precious," Victor said, and Yuuri's lips pursed together.

"Maybe it could've been," he agreed. "But then you left."

The silence that followed was thick, and Yuuri instantly regretted the words as soon as they made it off his tongue. What was he trying to do? Pick a fight? It was no use to dwell on the past like that, they had bigger issues to talk about.

He sighed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, no, that's fine," Victor assured quickly. "I should've kept in touch, I know, but there was just so  much to do, to learn... I didn't have much time for anything else."

"No, it's alright, please. I know that. You don't need to explain." Yuuri straightened, resting his elbows on the table in some weak semblance of support. "I'm just nervous, so my mouth does this thing where it can't filter what to say or not."

Victor looked at him for a moment, before asking, "Do I make you nervous, Yuuri?"

"It's not you," Yuuri immediately denied. "It's... us?" It tasted wrong on his tongue and he grimaced. "This whole situation."

Victor's face blanked, unreadable expression coming over his eyes, and Yuuri felt the knot of nerves tighten anew, far more painful and insistent than before. Anxiously, Yuuri rubbed at the small patch of stubble on his jaw that he'd missed while shaving in the morning.

"You've just come home," he said as a way of explanation. "And you didn't recognize me, so it couldn't be helped. I know I was selfish by not saying anything, I should've told you before anything happened between us. I'm sorry."

Before he could tell him that they shouldn't do it ever again, that it wasn't right even that first time, that it was not the way he wanted to remember Victor and definitely not the way he wanted Victor to remember him, Victor cut him off.

"Do you regret it?"

It was such a simple question, but it took Yuuri's breath away. Did he regret it? Heart clenched tight and fingers white from the pressure he was putting on the glass he was holding onto for comfort, Yuuri closed his eyes.

_Of course not. Never._

"It doesn't matter," he said out loud. "You should–"

"Yuuri," Victor interrupted him again. "Do you regret it? That's all we need to talk about."

"It doesn't matter if I regret it or not, Victor," Yuuri snapped. "You didn't know who I was and if you knew you wouldn't have done that, we both know it."

"What I do and do not know is not for you to decide," Victor replied, his eyes growing cold for the first time as they looked at Yuuri from the other end of the table. "In fact, I do not regret what happened even one bit."

Yuuri sat there frozen, too scared to move, breathe, blink.

"I would've liked to know, yes," Victor continued, "but just because it's you, it doesn't change anything for me. Unless it does for you?"

Yuuri kept on staring at him as if there was another head sprouting out of Victor's neck.

"It really doesn't bother you?" he asked quietly. "You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"

Victor shook his head, still watching him carefully. "It was a little weird when I first found out that you are the little kid I remember, but you're not so little anymore, are you?"

The joke was crass and Yuuri barked out a tiny, nervous laugh. It made Victor's lips twitch as well, warmth slowly crawling back into his eyes. Yuuri realized that he never wanted to see them turn that cold on him ever again. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath to relax.

"Are we good, then?" Victor asked when Yuuri lifted his head, and Yuuri cracked a small smile at him.

"Yeah," he agreed. "We're good."

For now, at least, they were.

 

***

 

He'd let Victor talk him into a glass of champagne, then into another, laughing softly into his hand when Victor's overdramatic narration of the most colourful moments in Europe made keeping a straight face impossible. Still smiling at him as the waiter took their finished plates away, Yuuri thought to himself how strange this reunion was. They lost all contact and yet somehow their characters seemed to have fit together just as well as they had when they were young. He had Victor's dick in his mouth a little over a week ago, but sitting with him and laughing at the drunken shenanigans he got into with a friend named Chris felt oddly comfortable, despite that.

When the waiter returned with the bill Victor graciously swiped out his card and paid for them both, answering with a single "Yuuri, it's the least I can do." So Yuuri let him so that, too.

He let him open the door for him as well, baffled, but returning a smile Victor had sent him as he passed through it. There was a warm buzz in Yuuri's veins, calm, relaxing, almost giddy, and he wanted to attribute it to the alcohol, but he knew the truth.

It was Victor. As always, it was all him.

They walked to the pink Cadillac and Victor took the keys from the valet, tipping him without even looking away from Yuuri.

"You know," Victor started, a smile on his lips and light in his eyes. "I brought some divine vintage with me from France and wine is always the most enjoyable in good company, so how about it? Want to drop by my place for a glass?"

It would be so easy to say yes and the answer was already on the tip of Yuuri's tongue, but it didn't come out. Uncertainty curled around Yuuri's shoulders, wrapped around his neck and crawled into his heart, unwanted, unwarranted, untamed. Victor must have noticed that something was holding him back, because he took a step closer, taking Yuuri's hands into his, and like an avalanche it all crushed down on Yuuri – the wine was only an excuse. What Victor was hoping for was different, and Yuuri would be lying if he said he didn't hoped for it as well. But he'd be lying, too, if he claimed it didn't put a petrifying kind of fear into his taut with nerves body.

"I'm–"

Saved by the ringing of his phone he quickly pulled away from Victor.

"Sorry, give me a second."

Victor said nothing and Yuuri busied himself checking his phone. Phichit's face grinned at him from the screen as if he'd felt something was wrong and Yuuri needed saving. Yuuri smiled to himself a little, finding that he was strangely comforted by that thought, even if it was an unnecessary concern. He didn't need saving. He could face this himself.

He rejected the call, typing out a quick "busy now ttyl", before he looked at Victor again.

Victor's eyes never left him.

He stood there, eyes warm and head bathed in a golden halo of the street lamp, drowning them in the yellow light like the sun, and Yuuri found his mouth forming words before his brain even registered it.

"If you don't mind opening the bottle just for this, then I'd be happy to share a glass with you."

 

***

 

"Make yourself at home," Victor said as soon as they stepped into his penthouse suite and the lift door closed after them.

Yuuri walked into the living room area, shrugging his jacket off and draping it over the back of the huge, white leather sofa. Everything, as far as his eyes could see, looked expensive and cosy – the very way Victor always liked it. On some deep level, Yuuri enjoyed seeing that nothing much has changed about that aspect of him.

Slowly he rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt up to his elbows, faintly hearing a pop of the wooden cork being pulled out of the bottle. He turned to the small kitchenette on the other end of the room and found Victor pouring the wine into two glasses. Wasting no time at all, Victor came around the kitchen isle and handed Yuuri one of them.

"Where's Makkachin?" Yuuri asked, taking the glass.

"With my mother," Victor replied. "I thought she might appreciate some company given the circumstances."

Yuuri only nodded. Victor's tone was light, almost as if it was some sort of vacations or home sickness, but Yuuri still remembered the truth – Victor's father died only days ago. He didn't want to bring it up, though. If Victor didn't want to talk about it, Yuuri would not talk about it. He pushed his own feelings on the matter away, swirling the wine around.

Victor lifted his glass up.

"A toast," he said. "To reunions."

Unable to stop the small smile from showing, Yuuri touched their glasses together. "To reunions."

One glass quickly became two when they settled on the sofa, too close to each other be casual, too far to be cuddling, and an aching sort of need crawled into Yuuri's chest. Two glasses became two and a half. The bottle made it to the coffee table before them for the refills and soon was completely empty as they continued dancing around each other. Finally, two and a half turned into a sweet, gentle kiss that wasn't short in the least, but which Yuuri still mourned being over when Victor pulled away.

With his free hand, the one not holding the empty glass, Victor touched Yuuri's elbow. His fingers felt like a spring touching his skin, warm and gentle, making goosebumps of need and expectation show on the bare expanse of Yuuri's forearm. Yuuri shivered when Victor took and lifted his hand, turning it over and pressing a kiss to the pads of his fingers. Lips, soft as silk, followed the lines on his palm, pressing another kiss to the centre of it, his wrist, where his pulse was quickening like a stampeding hoard of horses, and further up his forearm. Ghosting over the sensitive skin, Victor murmured:

"I wanted to do this ever since you rolled up your sleeves. Your forearms are beautiful."

It could've been wine, but Yuuri knew the truth – the hot flush blossoming on his cheeks was the response to Victor's tone. Not the words, even though they were making his heart flutter as well, but the tone: soft, wondrous, awe-struck and so, so needy. It made Yuuri's chest tight with a craving that could only be satisfied with one thing.

He leaned forward, kissing the temple of Victor's bowed head and then slid his cheek over Victor's, dipping his head lower still until he found Victor's lips. Their noses bumped into each other, but it was tender, and Yuuri's breath froze on an exhale against the perfect curve of Victor's mouth.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, meaning it.

Victor's soft laugh got drowned into a sigh when their lips met again. The glasses clunked as they hurriedly set them on the table, desperately needing to free their hands. Finding his way to Victor's hair, Yuuri pulled him closer, deeper into the kiss, and Victor went willingly, tilting Yuuri's chin up and caressing the line of his jaw with his thumb. Yuuri melted into it, just as greedy as the first time they kissed.

Unlike the first time, though, there was no rush here. No desperation. Victor was pliant against him, going with every shift of Yuuri's body, following anywhere he wanted to go, and Yuuri found himself growing hard sooner than he anticipated. Victor's wandering hand found the bulge of his crotch and light fingers traced circles around him as they kissed, until Yuuri had to break away with a shallow moan.

"Let's take this to the bedroom," Victor said then, kissing him once more, twice, and a third time when Yuuri pulled him back in, before he hefted himself off the sofa. He offered Yuuri a hand, which he took gratefully, standing up and stepping right into Victor's kiss. "Come. You deserve more than just a sofa."

A part of Yuuri's brain that couldn't forget their first time together whispered "But not more than a one sided fuck, huh?". He ignored it with everything he had, following Victor into the bedroom.

"Lie down," Victor told him. "I'll be right there with you."

Yuuri watched him go around the bed to pull out condoms and lube from the still unpacked suitcase while he went ahead to sit on the bed. It was springy and nice, he almost felt like he was being sucked into the softness of the sheets, so with a sigh he fell back onto the mattress. Closing his eyes, Yuuri briefly wondered if doing this again was a good idea.

It wasn't. It couldn't be.

Victor's kisses on his face, cheeks, eyelids, forehead, lips, chased the thoughts away as fast as they came and Yuuri opened his eyes to see Victor hovering above him with a gentle look in his eyes.

"Sleepy?" he asked, and Yuuri smiled.

"Not enough to stop," he said, and this time it was Victor's turn to smile.

They kissed again, light and unhurried, and Yuuri knew that no matter if it was a good idea for the future, right now he didn't want to think of anything else but the way that Victor's hands felt on his chest. Victor leaned their foreheads together, gazing into Yuuri's eyes and laughing a little when their joint breaths fogged up his glasses. Yuuri chuckled as well, pushing him away for the second it took to take them off. Victor took them wordlessly and put them on the nightstand before returning to kiss the spot at the top of Yuuri's nose where the frame of the glasses left an almost permanent mark.

"I want you to just lie back and enjoy," Victor murmured against Yuuri's forehead. "It's my turn to make you feel good."

Unaware of what exactly he'd done to Yuuri's heart with this small gesture, Victor run his hands down Yuuri's body, rubbing at the flesh with his thumbs through the already wrinkled clothes. Button by button he'd kissed Yuuri's shirt open and Yuuri let him, chest heavy with something he couldn't name. Maybe it was relief, maybe gratitude, maybe something deeper, he was too intoxicated by Victor to know for sure.

Victor's hands found the waistband of his pants and he looked up at Yuuri, possibly to make sure he was still okay with it, and Yuuri, weak hearted and overwhelmed by the amount of care Victor was putting into this, so different from the way he'd been treated that first time – he broke apart at the seams. Victor's face morphed comically fast from seductively flushed to panicky and worried when Yuuri's vision blurred far more than it usually did without his glasses and he realized that _oh, those were tears_.

"Yuuri, wha– Did I do something wrong? Hurt you?" Victor asked, voice as confused as he looked, and even more when Yuuri mutely shook his head. "Do you not want this anymore? I– I'm sorry if I pushed you, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. If I've misread the signs–"

"No," Yuuri managed to get through his tightened throat. "No, it's fine. You didn't do anything wrong. Quite the opposite, in fact."

Victor tilted his head to the side, no less lost, in a dog-like gesture that made Yuuri crack a small smile.

"I guess I just didn't expect you to be so..." He paused, searching for the right word, but none were correct so he simply waved his hand and said, "...kind to me."

Victor was silent for a while and Yuuri was grateful, because it allowed him to wipe his eyes and clear his vision, but once he did and Victor still remained frozen, unease crept into Yuuri's heart with hot white licks. He lifted himself on the elbows, the shirt hanging open on his sides, but he only looked at Victor's face.

"God, I'm such an asshole," Victor suddenly whispered to himself, bringing up his hands to hide his face in. "No wonder you were so–"

Hesitatingly, Yuuri touched his arm. "Victor?"  

Victor gave a small sound of frustration before he pulled himself together and took Yuuri's hand instead.

"I'm sorry, Yuuri," he said, honest regret in his tone, as he pressed a kiss to Yuuri's knuckles. "I'm so sorry. I was such a jerk to you the first time around, I should've realized you'd be thinking about that. I don't have any excuse for that and I don't plan to make one. Just..." He stopped, looking hopefully into Yuuri's eyes and Yuuri knew that whatever he was about to ask, he'd surely say yes to. "Just let me make it up to you? Please."

Yuuri's first instinct was to say there was nothing that he needed to make up for, but he swallowed it down at the borderline desperate need in Victor's eyes. He nodded his head, giving a soft "Okay".

And that was all Victor waited for.

He leaned in close to kiss Yuuri again, and it was tender and nice, but almost... almost _shy_ , and Yuuri found himself pulling away to give Victor as stern a look as he could manage without his glasses.

"Don't treat me like glass, Victor," he said, thumbing at Victor's lip and pressing it into his teeth. "I won't break from a little pressure. Just don't use me again."

Victor's eyes lit up with something that disappeared too fast for Yuuri to catch. His attention was drawn away as well when Victor nipped at his thumb playfully, a tiny smirk curled in the corner of his mouth.

"Whatever you want, Yuuri," he promised.

And that's exactly what Yuuri got. Every panted "More," and every "Ah, Victor, right there!" was met and followed through. Victor's hands, fingers, lips and tongue left Yuuri's body aflame, aching for it to last. But what drove him into the point of utter loss of control was the way Victor's eyes never strained from his face, the way he ignored his own pleasure in exchange for Yuuri's, which was so different from that first time when he simply took him, used him and discarded him like a piece of trash. This, now, it felt like a lover's touch and Yuuri's thighs quivered with the weight of it.

Finally fed up with the short slide of Victor's fingers, he moved his hand to palm at Victor's hard dick. Victor bit his lip to stifle a moan, but it was too loud to help. Yuuri kept his hand moving, even if Victor's own stopped inside him.

"Fuck me, Victor," he demanded, too flushed, too hot, too unbound to watch his words. "I need you, now."

Victor flushed, swallowed, and dived in to steal an open mouthed kiss from Yuuri's lips. His fingers disappeared from Yuuri's ass and it truly was a shame, but a new kind of excitement crawled across Yuuri's skin, making him shiver as Victor pulled back to shuck the rest of his clothes.

Yuuri had imagined this so many times. So many times he'd woken up from dreams that left him sticky and licking Victor's name off of his parched lips. Victor's face was always cloudy there, his touch always ghost-like, but here, right now, it wasn't a dream.

Yuuri's hole twitched while he watched Victor put a condom on, lather it with lube and give a few strokes. Dreams were nice, but they had nothing on reality. Especially not when Victor slid between Yuuri's legs to kiss him again and their dicks briefly rubbed together, hot and wanting.

"Turn over," Victor said and Yuuri flipped around as fast as he could, eager to finally get what he wanted.

Victor's dick slid between his ass cheeks and Yuuri groaned.

"Don't play," he begged. "Just fuck me. Give me that dick, Victor."

He ground his ass into Victor's hips and there was a stuttered breath from above him, an aborted moan that turned into a curse and then Victor's dick was pushing in, stretching him and filling him inch by inch. Yuuri shivered and bowed his head low as he tried to muffle the sounds coming from his mouth while his dreams were finally, _finally_ , becoming reality.

"You look so good like this, Yuuri," Victor was saying, all the while sliding further inside. "Your ass is a work of art, but it looks even better spread on my dick. Wish you could see this."

Yuuri moaned, heat pooling low in his groin again while Victor filled him up. The stretch was slightly unpleasant, a little too much, but the ache that travelled up to his hips only served as a reminder that this was real. And he soaked in it greedily.

He looked over his shoulder.

"Maybe– maybe next time you can show me."

"With pleasure."

Victor smirked down at him, running two fingers down the length of Yuuri's spine. It made Yuuri shiver and clench a little around Victor's dick, which sent them both moaning.

"Move," Yuuri begged. "Victor, please–"

He didn't get to finish, because Victor was already doing as asked. He pulled out gently and thrust back in, slow and shallow at first and then – once Yuuri's moans grew in volume and his "Faster, harder. Victor, please," turned into a slurred, needy mess – deeper and rougher, and Yuuri couldn't think of anything then. Nothing else mattered but this moment here, Victor's dick bringing him to a height he'd craved for so long and the fervently whispered praises that spilled out of Victor's mouth over his shoulder blades.

"Ah... fuck," Victor groaned. "You feel so good, Yuuri." Yuuri moaned and clenched around him, pushing his ass back only to be rewarded with a deep groan from Victor. "God, yes, just like that. Fuck, fuck, fuck, _Yuuri_ –"

Victor's hips stuttered and quickened the pace as they fell out of rhythm. He wrapped an arm around Yuuri's waist and held him in place as he fucked into him harder and faster. Yuuri moaned in appreciation, feeling the oncoming orgasm tingle up the inside of his thighs.

"Harder, Victor, hard–" he broke off with a choked gasp when Victor's dick hit his prostate straight on.

Victor must have felt the tight clench of his ass, because he honed in on the spot, angling his hips just right to hit it with every thrust and Yuuri's breath disappeared completely as he repeated Victor's name over and over again in a plea for more, which Victor gave gladly. Desperately stroking himself, Yuuri closed his eyes, focused only on the feeling of Victor fucking into him and the warmth of his own hand.

It didn't come suddenly. The tension in Yuuri's body was built up so high he could almost fly off the mattress, but when the orgasm hit him, it left him crumbled, trembling and boneless. His moan turned into a long " _Vityaaahhh..._ " and he wasn't sure if it was that, or the unexpected clenching of his ass, but Victor's groan turned into almost a sob when he came as well. Yuuri could feel the hot squelch of cum filling the condom inside him, and it was all over far too soon when Victor pulled out of him.

Eyes still closed, Yuuri slumped onto the bed, too tired to move. The mattress shifted, and then it shifted again a moment later when Victor returned. A slightly cold towel swiped between Yuuri's ass cheeks, wiping the remnants of lube and body fluids and making him shiver. He shivered again when Victor pressed a kiss to the dip of his spine, and blinking hazily, Yuuri looked over his shoulder.

"If you keep doing that, you'll have to take responsibility," he said while Victor continued to lightly rub the towel above his balls. It felt lazy, light, almost relaxing, but pleasure like that was easily buildable and they both knew it.

Victor smiled, eyes gleaming. "Maybe that's what I want."

He removed the cloth and tapped Yuuri's hip twice though, a sign to turn over. Yuuri did and Victor wrapped the fabric around his dick, cleaning it, too.

"A little revenge for what you called me," he added smoothly, gripping Yuuri's sensitive length a little bit tighter.

Yuuri gasped, "What?"

"You don't remember?" Victor asked back, leaning up to hover directly over him.

Yuuri blinked, his vision swimming a little, so he lifted a hand to touch the corner of Victor's mouth. It was quirked, just a little, so he relaxed knowing that he wasn't upset.

"What did I say?" He was curious now, too, and the way Victor's lips twitched under his thumb was fuelling it even more.

"You called me Vitya," Victor admitted, and all Yuuri could say to that was, "Oh."

And then he flushed, his already pink cheeks darkening into red. "Ah, sorry about that. I just– In my head I always–"

His blush deepened when he realized what he'd just said and he pressed his lips together to shut himself up. Victor only laughed at him. He took Yuuri's other hand, the dirty one, and wiped it off on the towel, which he then flipped over his shoulder carelessly.

"I really don't mind if you call me that." He smiled down at Yuuri, before pouting. "But doing that while I'm inside you is just unfair, Yuuri."

He collapsed next to Yuuri, a small whine in his voice, and Yuuri couldn't help a small, bashful grin from showing on his face. This, this was the Victor – _Vitya_ – that he remembered. The one he cherished, the one he'd missed like crazy all these years, the one he was trying to find in the new, grown up version. And somehow finding him like this was so comforting that Yuuri turned to the side, looking into Victor's still flushed face, his bright eyes and relaxed features, and felt his heart settle into peace and calm.

"Welcome home, Vitya," he whispered.

For just a second Victor looked startled, but then his lips pulled into a small smile, honest and beautiful, and he sighed, closing his eyes. He didn't say anything back, but the way he kissed Yuuri's hand was all the thank you Yuuri needed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you a happy ending and well, here's the start of their honeymoon phase ;3c  
> hope u enjoyed~


	3. flip the script

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **day 3: roleplay**

 

_> busy tonight?_

Yuuri smiled at the short message, ready to type a reply when a knock on his door surprised him into dropping his phone. It hit his foot fair and square and he cursed, hissing at the pain, before he ground out a not entirely welcoming, "Come in."

His mother poked her head inside with a small smile.

"Are you busy now?" she asked and Yuuri just had to smile at the irony.

He shook his head. "Not really. Do you need me for something?"

She stepped into the room, handing him a fairly thick folder file.

"What's that?" he asked, looking curiously inside only to see bank statements and progress reports from of their resort finances.

"Your father and I asked Vicchan to look over these," his mother explained with a smile. "You know we've been losing clients steadily and we thought he might have some insight into things, having spent so much time in Europe and all."

"That makes sense." Yuuri nodded. "You want me to take these to him now?"

"If you're not busy." She smiled and Yuuri smiled back.

"Sure, it's no problem. I'm meeting Phichit in the evening anyway."

Once she left, he picked up his phone, the message from Victor still unanswered.

_< can't tonight_

_< but I'll make it up to you_

_< promise_

 

***

 

"Please wait a moment, I will check if Mr. Nikiforov will be able to see you," the secretary said in a clipped tone, clearly not happy at Yuuri's presence ruining her carefully planned schedule and Yuuri, feeling bad for her and in part for himself, smiled at her in what he hoped was reassuring way.

He stood by the desk, too nervous and uncomfortable to consider sitting. Only now, before the door of Victor's office did he begin to consider that maybe what he was doing was a little too reckless. He clutched the file tighter in his hand, wrinkling some of the pages for sure, but he couldn't care at the moment. His heart hammered in his chest and he was pretty certain everyone around him could tell what he was up to.

"Yuuri!"

He almost jumped when Victor's happy voice came from the direction of the door that had been locked until now. Yuuri turned to find Victor standing there and grinning at him, bright and beautiful, and it was enough to soak a little of the tension off of Yuuri's shoulder. He walked up to Victor, smiling as well, but couldn't miss the glare Victor's secretary shot him as she sat back down behind her desk and started typing furiously at her keyboard.

"I don't think your secretary likes me much," Yuuri commented as soon as Victor closed the door behind them.

Victor frowned at him. "Why? What happened? Was she rude to you?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Yuuri quickly assured, shaking his head. "I think she just didn't appreciate me coming without an appointment."

"Well." Victor smiled, a slight edge of a smirk to his lips. He took Yuuri's hand and kissed his knuckles in greeting. "I say you can come anytime and my word is law around here."

Yuuri flushed lightly, smiling back. "Thank you."

Victor let go of his hand, moving to the small sitting area and gesturing for Yuuri to sit on one of the sofas. Once he had, Victor sat next to him: unprofessional, overly familiar, thigh touching Yuuri's and knees brushing, but Yuuri said nothing about it. With what he had planned out, he didn't have any right to call Victor out on being touchy.

"So why are you here, Yuuri?" Victor asked. "You truly surprised me showing up like this. And here I was already disappointed that I won't get to see you today."

"I'm going out with Phichit tonight, sorry," Yuuri admitted. "But my mom wanted me to drop this off with you, so it was just as good an excuse to see you as any."

Victor took the folder, opened it and scanned the first page. "Ah, alright, I see. Did your mother say when she wants this by?"

"Not really," Yuuri shrugged. "Take your time with it. We know you must be busy with everything going on right now and it's not such a pressing matter that you have to lose sleep over it."

Victor hummed, closing the file and setting it on the coffee table. He looked back at Yuuri, smiling.

"True, but I'm never too busy for you. And losing sleep for you sounds like my kind of fun," he winked and Yuuri felt himself blush, even as he smiled.

"Actually..." Yuuri shifted in place, breathing a little unevenly. His dick was already half hard and being so close to Victor, hearing him say things like that, Yuuri grew impatient. "I was hoping you'd say that."

He rested one of his hands on Victor's thigh and run it up a little further, watching with some perverse delight how Victor sucked in a greedy breath. His eyes widened, but when he looked up – for confirmation of Yuuri's intent, no doubt – Yuuri was already leaning in to kiss him. For someone given little time to familiarize himself with the situation, Victor responded as eagerly as Yuuri had kissed him and it was just perfect.

Yuuri's hand slid up Victor's thigh until he could rub his thumb against Victor's crotch, slow, sensual circles that wrinkled and smoothed the material of his pants all at the same time. Victor wrapped his arms around him and tried to pull him into his lap, but Yuuri broke the kiss and slid off the sofa completely once he felt himself losing ground.

"Wha–"

Victor swallowed, looking after him a little dazed and lost, and Yuuri smirked. He backed away, small, teasing steps, as he kept his gaze locked with Victor's. It was strange, but the way he felt now was quite... _good_. The previous nerves were still there, simmering under the veil of something else, something that made him feel powerful. Confident, sexy.

Victor blinked, licked his lips and stood up to follow Yuuri, but Yuuri stepped away again until his hand touched the wood of Victor's desk. He turned around then, running a finger over the surface of the desk as he walked around it.

"You know," he finally said, lifting up his eyes to look at Victor, who was watching him like a hawk would its prey. "I always wondered what it's like to do it on a desk like this one."

Victor took a deep breath and then–

" _Fuck._ "

Yuuri's eyes widened, his confidence almost popping like a bubble. But he worried for nothing, because in a few long strides Victor was by his side, pushing him up to the desk and kissing him with a passion that had Yuuri groaning into his mouth. His arms found purchase around Victor's neck, drawing him in, close, close, closer, until their chests brushed together. His soft cashmere sweater caught on the buttons of Victor's pristine white dress shirt, but neither of them cared. Victor's hands roamed over Yuuri's body for just a moment before he slid them down Yuuri's ass and hauled him up by the thighs to sit him down on the hardwood. The papers crunched under his weight, but the sound was drowned in the gasp Yuuri had sucked in.

"Wait, wait," he rushed out when Victor impatiently pressed into him. "What about your secretary?"

Victor groaned. "Why are you thinking of her _now_?"

Yuuri almost laughed at how petulant he sounded. He patted Victor's cheek, looking towards the door over his shoulder.

"Do you think she'll be able to hear us?" he asked, just a little bit bothered, but mostly curious.

"Do you want her to hear us?" Victor asked back, nosing at Yuuri's cheek and sliding his lips over the freshly shaved skin to nip at his ear. "I can always fire her if that's a problem."

An incredulous snort escaped Yuuri before he could stop it. It turned into a soft sigh when Victor started mouthing at his neck, gentle and adoring and so, so nice that Yuuri almost forgot what they were talking about.

"You can't fire her," he said, running his fingers through Victor's hair. "Who would make sure you do the actual work you're supposed to?"

"Mm," Victor hummed, sucking on his skin in a way that made Yuuri shiver and press a little closer to him. "How about I hire you instead? You'd make a lovely secretary."

"Who you can fuck on your desk anytime you want?" Yuuri asked, amused. "Should I be concerned about Miss...?" He trailed off, knowing Victor would get it, and he did.

Victor pulled away from his neck, lifting a hand to tilt Yuuri's chin up. "Not really my type. You, on the other hand..."

His eyes were a mixture of something soft and deep that made Yuuri's cheeks turn a deep pink. Absently, Yuuri licked his lips, trying to hide his embarrassment behind a brave front and hating how just one comment from Victor could make him lose his composure.

He leaned into Victor, hand drawing up Victor's chest, and looked up at him through his eyelashes, hoping that he looked flirtatious enough to pass.

"So what would my interview entail, Mr. Nikiforov?" he asked in a sultry voice that sounded absolutely ridiculous to his own ears.

It made Victor's lips twitch as if he was holding back a smile though, and Yuuri decided it was still better than nothing.

"I think that first I will need to check how your tongue fares in battle, Mr. Katsuki," Victor immediately played along. "After all, it is important for someone representing the Nikiforov name to be good with their mouth. You never know when you might be tested on your expertise."

He didn't wait for a response and kissed Yuuri, who responded just as eagerly. Their tongues rubbed together, slick and soft, and Yuuri felt his body heat up with want. Without waiting any more, Victor slid Yuuri's legs apart and stepped into the space to bring their bodies even closer, which Yuuri accepted gratefully. He was already leaking, he could feel the throbbing inside his tight underwear, and the sooner Victor got to work on it, the better. Hooking his ankles behind Victor's back, Yuuri squeezed Victor's hips with his thighs, rubbing their groins together.

They both groaned.

"If you keep on surprising me like this," Victor started, eyes closed, as he braced his hands flat on the desk and slowly thrust against Yuuri, "I will never be able to focus on my work."

Yuuri lied back on his elbows, careful not to throw anything expensive off of Victor's desk and shifted for a better angle. Victor's bulge was rubbing deliciously against the bottom of his crotch and he knew that if it lasted any longer he could come just like that, but...

He slid a hand down his stomach to the button of his jeans, undoing it and the zipper, before he spoke.

"Isn't it my job as your secretary to make you focus?" he asked, slipping his hand inside his briefs to grip at his dick. Victor's eyes were dark and his wet, glistening lips open as he stared at the place where Yuuri's hand moved in lazy strokes. "See? You're focusing just fine, boss."

Victor groaned, speechless and wanting, and Yuuri felt a shiver of exhilaration help him arch off the desk. He pushed Victor back with his hand and then slid off the desk, turning around as soon as his feet touched the carpeted floor. He wiggled his hips, shucking off the loose jeans that slid down his legs and pooled around his ankles. Victor's hands immediately found their way to his ass, kneading into the soft flesh and spreading it, rubbing, pressing, which made Yuuri moan just a little bit more than he usually would have. He propped himself on his elbows on the desk, almost half-lying on top of all the papers, while Victor's hands massaged his ass in a slow, almost reverent way.

When Victor's thumb swiped over where his asshole hid under the thin material, Yuuri knew Victor had felt it. He looked over his shoulder, seeing the wide-eyed shock on Victor's face and smirking even as he blushed.

"Take them off," Yuuri ordered, wiggling his hips, and Victor was never quicker to follow.

A sharp intake from behind told Yuuri exactly what he needed to know and he couldn't help a shiver of excitement that run up his spine. He almost arched into the touch of Victor's hands when they pulled his ass cheeks up and spread them over the now clearly visible base of the plug Yuuri had put inside him before leaving home.

" _God_ , Yuuri," Victor moaned, and Yuuri felt his entire body go flush with need.

"What do you think, Mr. Nikiforov?" he asked, teasing. He didn't know where he was getting the courage to do this, but it was addicting and he couldn't stop. "Do I have the job yet?"

Looking backwards, he found Victor licking his lips and suddenly Yuuri himself felt very parched.

"I think I'll need to check your references first, Mr. Katsuki," Victor replied in a hoarse voice. "But I see that you've come prepared so it should be only a formality."

Just as he was saying that, his fingers traced the outline of the plug sitting deep inside Yuuri's ass. Yuuri shivered, pushing back a little in a silent plea. Victor didn't need to be asked twice, because his fingers took the base of the plug and slowly pulled it out halfway before pushing it inside again in a deliberate tease that had Yuuri moaning.

"Fuck," Victor muttered, filling up Yuuri's hole with the toy.

"Do my references look good, boss?" Yuuri managed between the moans and the obscene squelch of lube as Victor kept working him up.

"Better than good," Victor replied, pulling out the plug completely and rubbing it around the gaping hope of Yuuri's ass. "Delightful."

Yuuri groaned as his hole twitched, needing something to fill him up again.

"Condoms," he only said when Victor continued to tease him. "Back pocket in my jeans."

"So little patience, Mr. Katsuki," Victor chided, pushing the toy back inside him. "We will have to work on that during your trial period."

Yuuri held back a groan. Just thinking of any sort of endurance game Victor could come up with made him more aroused, but combined with his already leaking dick it was almost too much. His breathing got rougher and he missed the moment when Victor crouched down to search his jeans. He did not miss Victor's slacks slipping down to the floor, though. Excitement, thick and hot, ran down his spine and tingled around his ass right when Victor's fingers returned to remove the toy from inside him.

Victor handed him one of the condoms and put another on himself, the sound of latex snapping on skin  loud in the silence of the office. Yuuri quickly pulled on his condom, barely holding back from stroking his hard, heavy length. He needn't have bothered though, because Victor's arms wrapped around him not long after and one of his hands gripped Yuuri's dick lightly. Victor's nose was pressed into Yuuri's hair as he nuzzled into it, humming at Yuuri's soft mewls while he stroked Yuuri a few times. His own dick brushed against the back of Yuuri's ass in a cruel tease of a promise and in that moment Yuuri could swear that he was going mad with want.

"Chest on the desk," Victor told him, finally, and Yuuri scrambled to obey, spreading his legs and leaving his ass up on display.

"Please..."

"Please what?" Victor asked, rubbing his dick between Yuuri's buttocks. He must have used the lube Yuuri had brought along because it slid on the skin easily and Yuuri couldn't help the needy whine at the heat pooling low in his abdomen.

"Fuck me, Vitya," he begged, pushing his ass back and grinding against Victor.

And Victor couldn't help but do just that.

His dick slipped inside easily, little to no resistance, and before Yuuri could even breathe he was already pulling back out and slamming his hips against him in a pace that said enough about how desperate he was. And Yuuri felt thrilled. The slick slide of Victor's dick was one thing, but the fast pace and sheer need to be inside Yuuri made him feel powerful, strong, _good_.

The desk trembled with the force of Victor's thrusts, the numerous knickknacks clanking around, and Yuuri's hands slipped on the papers scattered across it, crumbling them even more than they already were. He tried to bite his lip to muffle at least some of the sounds that were continuously falling out of his mouth, but Victor filled in his silence with his groans and pants instead.

"Yuuri," he moaned, sinking deep inside him, and Yuuri moaned back. "Ah– I feel like I'm gonna come any moment. God... what are you doing to me..."

Yuuri pulled his dick on top of the desk, letting it slide on the hard wood as he stroked himself closer to the edge. Victor was holding his hips in a vice-like grip, fucking into him hard and fast, and Yuuri knew he'd have bruises where the desk kept hitting the front of his thighs, but at the moment the pain only intensified the pleasure. Victor's pace quickened still, peaking until it broke off and with a grunt that turned into a high whine Victor came inside, riding off the height of his orgasm and pushing Yuuri into his.

Spent, Yuuri collapsed on top of the desk, only then feeling the tremble in his thighs. Victor carefully pulled out of him, but Yuuri couldn't gather enough strength to move, so he stayed there until he felt warm fingers spread more lube around his stretched out hole. Surprised, he snapped his head around only to see Victor smirk at him while coating the plug.

"Wha–"

Before he could finish, Victor was already pushing the toy inside him again, working it in carefully and making Yuuri shudder on a shaky breath.

"What are you doing?"

"Just returning your references," Victor replied. "You're hired, Mr. Katsuki."

Yuuri laughed breathlessly, breaking off into a moan when the tip of the plug brushed against his prostate.

"It's a pleasure to work under you, Mr. Nikiforov," he mock-purred once the sparkles of pleasure disappeared from his vision and he could look at Victor over his shoulder.

Victor released a breath, removing his hand from Yuuri and leaving the toy sitting inside him. He stepped back and sat in his chair with a face of a resigned man.

"You'll be the death of me, Yuuri," he complained, and Yuuri smiled to himself. _Good._

He pulled off the desk, pealing the condom off and discarding it before he tugged on his clothes again and crawled into Victor's lap. The chair groaned under the added weight, but it held.

"You'll live," Yuuri told him. "I can't have my boss dying under my watch, now can I?"

He closed the distance between them, kissing Victor softly, as if to contrast their previous rush. Victor kissed him back, just as gentle, and Yuuri sighed into him: relaxed, full, and content.

"Mr. Nikiforov, your protégé is here to see you."

They both jumped at the sudden voice coming from the speaker of the phone on Victor's desk. And all would've been fine if the unnatural move didn't make Yuuri shift. With a yelp, which was half surprise, half the pain he was already expecting, Yuuri slid off of Victor's lap and even though Victor tried to grab his hand, landed hard on the floor. He winced when the plug shifted uncomfortably, groaning when he tried to pick himself up and felt the full flare of the pain shoot up his spine.

"Yuuri!"

Victor was already down on his knees next to him, pants still pooled around his ankles comically, and Yuuri didn't know if he should be laughing, but he couldn't help the small snort that escaped him.

"Are you okay?" Victor asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, fine," Yuuri replied, shaking his head. "Help me up?"

Victor pulled him up and Yuuri shivered as the plug moved again. Victor noticed and kissed his brow, cheek, corner of his mouth. Yuuri melted against him, almost forgetting about anything else, but a loud "Victor!" from behind the door made it difficult.

"You should probably, um..." Yuuri looked down and Victor followed his gaze.

"Shit," he cursed, bending down to pull his pants up, and just in time, too, because as he was zipping them up the door to the office banged open and a blond teenager stormed inside.

"Victor, you fucking–" he broke off seeing Yuuri there and Yuuri swallowed, smiling uncertainly at him. "The fuck you staring at?"

"Yura, language," Victor chided and Yuuri looked at him, amused, because Victor had been cursing like a sailor only recently. Victor caught his eye and they shared a knowing smile before Victor sobered up. "I should take care of this. See you tomorrow?"

Yuuri nodded, squeezing Victor's arm in goodbye. "Text me."

"Of course." Victor smiled brightly.

On his way out, Yuuri passed Yura. The teen was still scowling at him and when Yuuri tried to smile at him, he snarled like a spooked kitten. It would've been cute if he didn't start speaking rapidfire Russian that very moment, no doubt saying rude things about Yuuri, and only Victor's curt reply, just as fast and angry-sounding, allowed Yuuri to slip away safely.

He closed the door with a heavy dose of relief, only to be on the receiving end of another scowl – this time coming from Victor's secretary.

"Have a good day," Yuuri told her pleasantly, but she shot him a nasty glare anyway.

The doors of the lift closing him off from her gaze were a blessing. Going down, Yuuri thought briefly that the walls of Victor's office were fairly thin so maybe... maybe she'd heard everything, maybe she knew...

And then he smirked to himself. Because the world _should_ know.

Victor was his and if the world wanted to hate him for that, he would gladly take them all on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //coughs softly  
> yea so that happened ;3c


	4. a crimson headache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **day 4: free day**  
>  and as such there's only softcore mention of smut things, no actual smut in the chap, but there's _feels_ ;3c

 

Days turned into weeks, weeks into a month, a month into two, and Yuuri found himself diving head first into something he no longer had any control of, but the buzz under his skin was comfortable, safe, strangely easy to like and so, he let himself be – falling.

 

***

 

"So how's your boyfriend doing?" Phichit casually asked one night in the middle of stuffing his face with fries.

Yuuri gave him a confused look, trying to swallow the bite of his burger and coughing when it went the wrong way. He grabbed his coke, washing it all down and grimacing when the bubbles went up his nose. Phichit watched him, an amused expression out in the open as he dipped another fry into his ice cream.

The dingy restaurant was not a place they came to often, especially not dressed how they were, but every now and then they sneaked out of their parents' mansions to enjoy their carbs in honour of their frivolous college days. It usually ended up being their time to catch up, even if they talked daily.

Or most recently, it became the time for Phichit to fish out all the little details of Yuuri's suddenly blooming romantic life.

"Who?" Yuuri finally managed to choke out when he caught his breath again, tears in his eyes and voice raspy enough that no heavy smoker would be ashamed of it.

Phichit lifted an eyebrow at him. "You know who."

He did.

Yuuri looked away, fully aware that his cheeks were now a little more pink and not because he had almost lost his life to a greasy burger. His thoughts went to Victor, who was the only one close enough to what Phichit insinuated, but...

"He's not my boyfriend," Yuuri murmured.

He bit into his burger again just so he could do something with his hands and maybe avoid the next question that was inevitably coming. Phichit, as always, did not disappoint.

"What is he then? A fuckboy? Sugar daddy?"

For the second time in the span of minutes, Yuuri choked.

"Are you actually trying to kill me?" he asked back, wheezing, but Phichit only waved a fry at him.

"Don't you change the topic on me," he told him, a light of determination in his eye. "What's going on with you two? I thought you said you weren't gonna do anything, but now you're... what? Fuck buddies?"

Yuuri wrinkled his nose.

"Why are we friends again," he deadpanned, only to have a fry fly straight at him. He gave Phichit an unamused stare. "Really?"

"Really," Phichit said. "Who else would push you into the arms of a hot, Russian billionaire childhood crush other than your most awesome best friend?"

Yuuri rolled his eyes fondly, a smile playing on his lips as he once more bit into his burger. He chewed slowly, and then once he swallowed, he sighed.

"I don't know what we are," he admitted. "It just... never came up? We're fine without labelling it."

He shrugged, ready to return to eating, but Phichit's frown stopped him.

"Not wanting to stick to labels is all fine and good, but..." He bit his lip, looking at Yuuri a little too seriously for his liking. "What do you want this to be? A relationship? Just casual?"

When trying to find an answer between the pickled cucumber and a slice of tomato didn't offer him any ideas, Yuuri gave Phichit a helpless glance.

"I don't know."

Phichit's face softened. "That's fine, you know. There's no pressure. Just take your time figuring it out. Maybe talk to him? See where he stands on that? It might help you figure out what you want from this."

Yuuri smiled at him, grateful that he let it go. It wasn't that he never thought about what he and Victor were to each other. In fact, Victor was one of the more constant things in his head ever since he came back. And even before. But... this thing... whatever they were, he didn't want to decide on his own what it meant, what it _could mean_ for them, because he wasn't the only one involved. And since Victor never as much as hinted at wanting to label it, Yuuri kept his thoughts to himself and just let it be.

"But he is a good fuck, right?" Phichit suddenly asked and Yuuri snorted into his coke.

He laughed despite his red face. "Yeah, the best."

 

***

 

Resting his cheek on Victor's sweaty forehead when Victor curled into lying almost on top of him, still sticky and breathing heavily, Yuuri couldn't help the small chuckle at how true his words to Phichit were. He was utterly spent, heart hammering in his chest with delightful weightlessness that only Victor knew how to put there.

"What are you laughing at?" Victor murmured, relaxed and sleepy.

"Just something I told Phichit the other day," he replied noncommittally, running his hand over Victor's bare back. His skin was warm and smooth and Yuuri found himself tracing the curve of Victor's spine, which had Victor arch into his hand like a cat.

"What did you say? Something good?"

"Yeah," Yuuri agreed with a small smile. "Definitely. He actually asked if you were good in bed."

Victor shifted at that, pushing himself up on one elbow to meet Yuuri's gaze. There was a tiny smirk curled in the corner of his mouth and his eyes were looking down at Yuuri with unhidden warmth.

"And what did you say?" Victor asked. "Am I any good?"

Yuuri huffed a soft laugh, repeating what he told Phichit: "The best."

Victor's smirk melted into a true smile. He kissed Yuuri slowly, a happy, content feeling settling between them. When they parted, Victor lied down on the pillow next to him so he could watch Yuuri and Yuuri turned to the side to let him.

"So you talk about me with your best friend?" Victor asked, a lilt to his voice. "Should I be preparing for a shovel talk?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Yuuri replied, laughing. "At least not yet."

"Not yet?" Victor blinked, looking curiously at him. "Isn't that done at the beginning of a relationship?"

"I– Yes?"

Yuuri shifted, suddenly nervous that the topic has turned from light and teasing into this dangerous path. Victor didn't look upset. Yet. He just considered Yuuri with an open curiosity that made Yuuri somehow guilty about being unsure how to ask what he desperately wanted to know.

"I mean," Yuuri started and then paused, licking his lips. He rolled onto his back to avoid Victor's gaze as he tried to gather his thoughts. "Are we? In a relationship? Is this... is this dating? Are you– are we dating? I just– We never talked about it so I wasn't sure that–"

He looked to the side and his tongue froze, petrified, when he noticed how pale Victor had gone. His eyes lost all the warmth and now looked at Yuuri through a glassy veil of something Yuuri didn't dare call tears. 

"You didn't think we were dating?" Victor asked, quiet, almost as if he was afraid of the words that were leaving his mouth.

Before Yuuri could reply, Victor was sitting up. He turned away from Yuuri, hiding his face in his hands for just a moment and Yuuri sat up as well, unsure of what to do. Should he touch him? Maybe not. He should say something... but what? What could he say to explain?

He was already opening his mouth when Victor beat him to it.

"What do you want us to be then, Yuuri?" he asked, finally turning to look at him and Yuuri stared because Victor's face was carefully blank as if he was waiting for Yuuri to tell him what to fill it with. "What do you want me to be to you?"

With a trembling hand Yuuri reached for Victor's, taking it in both of his, trying to steal some of his courage. He shook his head, a shaky smile faltering on his lips halfway.

"I just want you to be yourself," he said. "I will admit that I have no idea what this thing between us is, but if you don't want to put a label on it then that is alright with me. If you do though, I'd very much like to date you."

He flushed as he finished, ducking his head down, but lifted it again when Victor's hand squeezed his reassuringly.

"I'd very much like to date you, too, Yuuri," Victor said, smiling in such a fragile way that Yuuri wanted to take that smile and keep it protected against his heart forever.

Instead, he leaned over and pressed his lips to it, soft and reverent, and promised to himself to love it for as long as he was allowed to. For as long as Victor let him.

And when they tumbled back onto the sheets, the sweet, slow kisses turning into something more, Yuuri knew he would do everything he could to keep it. Fingers wrapped around Victor's dick, working him open into this vulnerable, beautiful mess, Yuuri sealed his vow into Victor's mouth, whispering his name like a charm and hoping with all his heart that it would work.

 

***

 

The night air felt delightfully cooling on his skin when he stepped out of Victor's bedroom onto the big terrace, looking into the sparkling lights of the never sleeping city, so he stayed there until Victor's arms wrapped around him from behind and a warm cheek was pressed tohis already chilled shoulder.

"Do you remember that time during the New Years' party at JJ's when you were supposed to keep an eye on me, but got completely drunk instead?" Yuuri smiled at the memory. "We spent the whole night lying in the grass in the gardens and looking up at the stars. You babbled so much."

He laughed quietly, remembering the way young Victor slurred around his words, but continued talking in a super excited way about the poodle puppy he finally got his parents to agree to get him. It was cute then, and just as cute now. Yuuri looked down to his shoulder to see a small frown on Victor's face and his smile waned.

"You don't remember," he stated more than asked. It hurt just a smidge, but when Victor shifted to look him in the eye, Yuuri shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I guess what I'm thinking about is that things have changed since then. Changed a lot."

Victor moved to prop his back against the railing and stand next to Yuuri, who kept on watching him with a fond smile. Yuuri lifted a hand to touch Victor's cheek and Victor leaned into it, pressing a tiny kiss into Yuuri's wrist, so weightless and fleeting that if Yuuri didn't see it happen he wouldn't have believed it happened.

"Your laugh back then was so..." he broke off unable to find the right word for it.

He'd always loved it. The sound of pure happiness, so light and warm, filling you with this strong, giddy will to _live_. Smiling at Victor's little smile, Yuuri pulled back his hand.

"Sometimes I wish we could go back to that time. We were so young and carefree... But then I look at you now and, Vitya," He met Victor's gaze directly, making sure he would get what Yuuri wanted to say, "I can see how heavy your shoulders are at times and I wish I could do something to help. Like you've helped me when we were kids."

Victor was watching him, his lip worried between his teeth, and Yuuri thought that for a moment there he could see it tremble in the flickering city lights.

"If there's anything, even if you just need someone to vent to, I'm always willing to lend you an ear, a hand, a shoulder to cry on... anything. Whatever you need."

Victor smiled at him then, soft and gentle, one of those fragile, genuine smiles that took Yuuri's breath away. Yuuri's cheeks reddened, but he continued looking at him, unable to break away from the warmth of his eyes. Not even when Victor took his hand and lifted it to his lips, pressing a kiss to Yuuri's cold fingers before leaning in and pressing another to Yuuri's forehead.

"You are definitely not what I expected to find by coming back here, Yuuri," Victor admitted, quiet wonder in his voice. "But I'm so glad to have met you again."

He pulled back, cracking a wide smile at him, which made Yuuri's own lips quirk up.

"Aren't I just the luckiest?"

 

***

 

"You wanted to know if something was bothering me," Victor said once they returned inside and settled under the warm covers of Victor's bed. "There is something. Do you want to listen?"

"If you want to talk about it, then I'll be happy to," Yuuri replied, resting his arm around Victor.

Victor sighed. "It's heavy."

"I don't mind."

Yuuri brushed his nose against the bare patch of skin on Victor's shoulder and kissed it lightly. It took a few more minutes before Victor spoke up and whatever Yuuri might have predicted, he would've been wrong.

"My father's death," Victor stated and Yuuri could feel the hair on his nape stand in fear, because suddenly it made sense, suddenly he understood. "It wasn't an accident."

"Are you sure?" he whispered, for whatever reason afraid to raise his voice.

"I have no proof yet," Victor replied. "No clues to who could've done it, how or why. You knew my father. He wasn't a man you could easily get along with, but he didn't make enemies if he could help it."

"But you think someone had a reason to kill him anyway," Yuuri said, knowing that if it was something Victor believed it couldn't have been just as simple as a child denying his parent's death.

"There is no official statement from the police, but we have a friend higher up who did some sniffing and... they found a detonator in his car. Someone wanted my father dead and they clearly got what they wished for," Victor finished bitterly.

Yuuri's arm tightened and he curled into Victor's side as if it could help any of this.

"They say it might be Yakov."

"No," Yuuri denied, shocked. "Hasn't he been a friend of the family for years? Why would he–"

"I don't know, Yuuri," Victor cut him off. "I simply _don't know_. It's all so frustrating."

He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up. Despite being only a few years older than Yuuri, Victor looked old now. Tired. Angry. Maybe it was the lighting, barely filtering through the windows moonlight, or the expression on his face, which looked so out of place Yuuri couldn't stand it, but Victor looked small and lost and aged.

"You're having someone look into this, though?" Yuuri asked, sure that Victor wouldn't leave something that important to bureaucracy.

He wasn't wrong.

"Of course," Victor replied. "But it can take months. It's already been two since I returned and the only thing I know for sure is that Yakov and my father argued about something a week before it happened." He gave Yuuri a helpless look. "But _it's Yakov_. He wouldn't–"

He fell silent without finishing. And Yuuri understood.

He pulled Victor close and stroked his side until Victor rolled into him, pushing his face into his hair as if he tried to hide from the entire world in this small cocoon of their bodies and tangled sheets. Yuuri couldn't fault him, not really. It must have been hard enough to return home to bury his father, but that must have been nothing in comparison to the weight of the realisation that his father's murderer could be someone he knew, someone close, someone he trusted – a friend.

His heart ached for Victor as he pressed a little kiss to his shoulder, listening to the soft sound of Victor's breathing and wishing there was anything else he could do.

 

***

 

Breakfast was quiet the next morning. Yuuri took every occasion to leave small kisses all over Victor, just because, a reminder to Victor that he wasn't alone. A press of lips to the cheek, another to Victor's temple when he sat down and Yuuri handed him his coffee, a slide of his mouth into the crease of Victor's elbow when he dropped his fork and Yuuri bent down to pick it up.

It was lazy and hushed, and somehow... warm. The talking brought them closer, wrapped them into a sort of intimacy that allowed the comfortable silence to stretch without being a strain on either of them.

Yuuri loved it.

They kissed goodbye, long and sweet and enough that Yuuri stumbled into the lift a little dazedly. Victor smiled at him before the metal door shut, and Yuuri smiled back, already pulling out his phone.

 

_< if you need anything, call. write. whatever you need. _

_< any time of day or night, I'm here for you_

 

The reply came just as fast, five floors later.

 

_> I will_

_> thank you_

_> truly_

 

He smiled at his phone.

The door pinged open and he moved without thinking, almost crashing into another person. Stumbling over his apologies, Yuuri realized that the person he almost toppled over was no one else than Victor's protégé. He stopped himself before another "I'm so sorry," could make it out of his mouth, and in time too, because the door chimed again and started to close. He blocked it with one hand, turning back to the teen.

"Are you going up?" Yuuri asked.

The teen only scowled, "Let it go. I want to talk to you first."

Surprised, Yuuri removed his hand. The door closed behind him and he was left facing angry blue eyes, so similar to Victor's, but so, so different as well.

"You want to talk?" Yuuri prompted when it seemed like the teen would only be glaring at him. "About...?"

"Shut up and listen," he spat, and Yuuri's eyes widened a little at the rude tone. "You're a fucking distraction. I don't know what your endgame is here, what you're after, but you better leave Victor alone. He has enough shit to deal with without you there to mess with his head."

"I don't know what you know about me and Vitya, but–" Yuuri started slowly, but he was interrupted before he could even get halfway.

"I don't fucking care! All I care about is him doing his fucking job and he can't do that when he's buried balls deep inside your gold digger ass," the teen growled, eyes full of anger, and something for Yuuri just clicked _right_.

He knew.

This child, whoever he was, knew that Victor's father was murdered.

His frustration looked far too familiar and at once Yuuri realized that it was the same as what he'd seen on Victor's face.

"Look," Yuuri said, straightening his back and looking down at the teen. "What happens between me and Victor, is between me and Victor." The boy snarled and was already preparing to chew his head off, but Yuuri didn't give him a chance. "But just so you know, I would never keep him from finding the person responsible. If he asks me to leave, I will. But otherwise, it is no one's business what we do."

The lift stopped by them once again and the door slid open, letting a group of people out. Yuuri stepped back to let them pass and, when they did, he looked back at the teen who continued glaring at him wordlessly. And then without as much as a hiss, he turned and stepped into the lift, punching the penthouse button with an angry hand, and left Yuuri all alone in the hall.

It would've been fine, it would've been a relief, but a small part of Yuuri's brain, the treacherous one that always wanted him to fail, whispered: _are you sure?_

No. He wasn't.

And that was the worst part.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're finally getting into the thick of things so I hope yall stick around to see the v deep plot ahaha  
> thanks so much for all the comments and see yall tomorrow~!


	5. aching blush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **day 5: toys**  
>  can I just say that I was completely dying from embarrassment while writing this one??? yall better appreciate my sacrifice lol

 

The sound of the line trying to connect filled Yuuri's ear as he held his phone up. Usually Victor picked up after the third ring, but this time it came and passed, and Yuuri frowned in concern. Before he could as much as think of a reason why Victor wouldn't be picking up, there was a click and a rustle, and Victor's breathing filled Yuuri's ear.

Shallow, rushed, almost–

"Hi," Victor greeted, and Yuuri's brain froze at the way Vcitor sounded.

–debauched.

Yuuri's heart thumped hard against his chest. In only a second, heat rushed through his body, overwhelming and so sudden that he felt dizzy. His own breath came out shaky and he had to lick his lips before he could as much as find his voice to return Victor's casual greeting.

"Hi." Yuuri choked. "Are you okay? You sound..."

Victor chuckled, low and raspy, making Yuuri shift where he was sitting on his bed.

"I'm okay. More than okay, now that I can hear your voice."

Closing his eyes, Yuuri bit his lip to keep a moan from slipping off his tongue. He needn't have worried about that because Victor would've drowned it with his own gasp and a repeated " _Yuuri, Yuuri_ ," that went straight to Yuuri's dick.

Yuuri's fingers tightened on his phone case.

"What are you doing right now, Vitya?" he asked.

"Ah, I'm just–" The line cracked and Yuuri could've bet that Victor pulled the phone away from his face to muffle a groan. "Just playing around. Missing you. You should– should talk to me some more, Yuuri."

If he had any doubts before, they were all gone now. Yuuri laid back against his pillows, closing his eyes and resting his free hand in his lap.

"Are you..." he paused to lick his dry lips. "Are you touching yourself while thinking of me?"

The half moan that Victor didn't manage to swallow was answer enough. Yuuri's heart hammered in his chest, exhilarated. He touched the dent in his sweats, lightly rubbing his fingers across it.

"Yuuri... Yuuri, talk to me. I want–"

Victor cut himself off, but the need in his voice was so raw that Yuuri could guess what it was that he wanted. And he wasn't cruel enough to keep it from him.

"Do you want me to tell you what to do?" Yuuri murmured into the speaker.

Victor whimpered. "Yes, please, _god_ , Yuuri, _yes_..."

"Then I want you to touch your dick," he said, doing exactly the same to his own. "Lightly, just the tips of your fingers."

Victor's shuddering breath was loud in his ear. "Yuuri..."

"Shhh," Yuuri hushed him. "Gently, Vitya, don't rush."

Yuuri pulled his dick out of his sweats, before he started stroking it in even, slow motion. It was a little embarrassing, saying these things out loud, hearing Victor moan into his ear even though he wasn't there with him, but somehow Yuuri didn't mind it. His thoughts were focused on hearing the shifts of Victor's breathing and imagining him spread out on his bed, tracing the shape of his dick with his fingers, looking up at Yuuri with a plea...

"Spread your legs for me, Vitya," he said. Victor's soft moan made a shiver run down Yuuri's spine. "Did you touch yourself there before I called?"

"I actually have a vibrator up my ass," Victor admitted with a small laugh.

Yuuri's grip on his dick tightened in surprise and he gasped.

"You like the sound of that, Yuuri?" Victor asked. "Thinking about me fingering myself open? Swallowing greedily the egg and twitching around it?"

Yuuri groaned, feeling his dick twitch in reply to Victor's words. He stroked it faster, his whole body burning.

"I would've loved to see that," he said. "Better yet, help you out. Stretch you with my fingers. Push the egg inside until you could feel it all the way up. And then fill you up with my dick so you wouldn't be able to tease me like this."

Victor laughed, a short sound that turned into a moan halfway.

"Tell me how you'd fuck me," he begged.

Yuuri tightened his hand around the head of his dick, imagining the feeling of Victor's soft insides instead. He grunted when his hips twitched, seeking that warmth he remembered so well.

"First I'd pry you open with my tongue," Yuuri said, giving way to all the fantasies he'd kept to himself without ever planning to tell Victor. Now, though, his tongue was working against him, letting loose and spilling his deepest, darkest secrets, but he didn't have the presence of mind to be bothered. "I bet you taste delicious. I'd suck on your beautiful hole until you'd beg me to fuck you."

Victor moaned and Yuuri had to take a moment to blink away the haze of pleasure that left him shivering.

"And then I'd fuck you, rough and hard," Yuuri breathed harshly, his dick pulsing at the sheer need to be buried in Victor's beautiful ass, "I'd mount you like an animal and fuck you until you come screaming, and then I'd keep on fucking you, slow and gentle, waiting for you to be ready to go again. And I'd make you come all over yourself. Twice. Maybe three times. Would you like that?"

Victor's breathing was laboured and he whimpered when Yuuri stopped talking.

"Tell me, Vitya," Yuuri asked, jerking his hand up and down his dick. "Would you like me to fuck you so hard you'd be close to fainting? Keep you on my dick until you'd beg me to stop?"

"Yuuri... Please, I–"

"You'd be such a gorgeous mess, Vitya..." He groaned, tightening his hand as the mental pictures brought him closer and closer to the edge. "I can already imagine your hole twitching after I'm done with you, so beautiful..."

Victor whined into the speaker and Yuuri gasped, feeling the first tingling of orgasm pool low in his abdomen.

"God, Vitya, I–" He gasped, jerking his wrist uncontrollably and moaning. " _Fuck_ , you'd be so good to me, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, oh yes, anything–" Victor broke off with a choked moan. "Yuuri, I'm... I'm gonna– mmph..."

"Come for me, Vitya," Yuuri urged, feeling his own body tense up with upcoming release. "Show me how much you want this... come for me."

With a sob the orgasm tore through Victor and Yuuri followed soon after, pushed over by the soft mewls that continued coming from Victor's mouth as he rode off his pleasure.

For a while after there was only static and their heavy breathing on the line. Yuuri couldn't believe he'd said all these things, the reality only now catching up with him. Just thinking back to it made his cheeks redden. The blush covered his entire face and he rolled to the side, hiding it in his pillow as if it could somehow help the embarrassment he felt. It was almost too much to swallow, too vivid, too _personal_ , but... it felt so good, too. 

His breathing was still uneven, but the clarity of mind was already coming back to him, and Yuuri laughed. This was definitely not what he'd expected when he called.

"What?" Victor asked curiously.

Victor's breathing was as shallow as Yuuri's, but somehow he made it sound like it was all done on purpose, which was hardly fair. Yuuri smiled into his pillow.

"Are you still up for dinner tonight?" he asked back.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Victor replied, and Yuuri's cheeks were beginning to hurt from the way he just kept on grinning.

"How about you keep that vibrator inside until I can take it out in person then?"

Yuuri himself had no idea where this sudden burst of confidence was coming from, but as soon as the words had left his mouth, his imagination supplied him with a picture of Victor coming undone under his mouth with the vibrator still wedged inside him and... he wanted it.

"Yuuri," Victor moaned.

"Too much?" Yuuri asked, a little worried that he went overboard.

Victor chuckled: a small, breathy laugh, so delighted that all of Yuuri's worries disappear just like that.

"No," Victor said. "You're perfect."

Yuuri flushed under the praise, pleased. He couldn't wait for tonight to tell Victor exactly how perfect he was instead.

 

***

 

Victor was already waiting for him when the waiter escorted Yuuri to their table. His cheeks were a little pink, a lovely shade that could've been either the lighting, or just the warm air of the room, but Yuuri knew better. He smiled, a tiny curled edge of a smirk settling in the corner of his mouth and Victor's eyes were drawn to it as if he knew it'd be there. He pressed his lips a moment later to that exact spot, making Yuuri's grin wider.

"How are you?" he asked, pulling Victor in for a hug.

There was a clear press of something against his hip and Yuuri hid a grin in Victor's cheek as he purposefully shifted just a bit. Victor muffled a soft moan by biting into his lip, but Yuuri was too close not to hear it.

"You sound good," he decided.

This time Victor did reply.

"I had no idea you were such a tease, Yuuri," he whined, but he didn't pull back.

"Me neither," Yuuri chuckled. "It's all thanks to you. You help me discover things about myself I never knew I was capable of." Yuuri let go of Victor only to be able to look him in the eye. "I don't think I ever thanked you properly for that, so, well, thank you."

Victor's entire face softened and he looked at Yuuri with so much warmth that Yuuri felt his throat tighten and had to look away. Victor wouldn't have it, though. He took Yuuri's hand and kissed the back of it, before turning it around and kissing the palm as well. Yuuri's cheeks flushed, as if to match Victor's.

"You're the most welcome, Yuuri," Victor told him, smiling.

And then he slipped a slick looking remote into Yuuri's hand.

"Oh my god," Yuuri hissed, hurriedly looking around, but thankfully no one was around to witness it. "Did you really...?"

Victor cocked his head to the side, "Didn't you want me to?"

"I– Yes, but..." Yuuri flushed.

"You don't have to used it, if you don't want to," Victor told him.

"No, no, that's not it. I want to. Just..." Yuuri wrapped his fingers around the device carefully before looking up at Victor with slight awe. "You really did that? Because I asked?"

Victor brightened in a smile, so effortlessly beautiful that Yuuri's breath got stuck in his throat. Not for the first time, for sure, but he definitely knew it wouldn't be the last either.

"Of course," Victor said. "Do I need to remind you that time you came to my office with a–"

Yuuri squeaked, slapping his free hand against Victor's mouth. Victor's shoulders shook as he tried to hold back laughter while his eyes gazed at Yuuri with barely hidden amusement. If Yuuri was blushing before, he was positively boiling now.

"Let's just... Let's eat," he mumbled, fiddling with the remote.

They sat down, ordered, and talked, as comfortable as always, but Yuuri couldn't help feeling something electric under his skin. It tingled and razed at him almost as if he himself was under the influence of Victor's vibrator. He suppressed a shiver and, unable to resist, pushed the on button.

The reaction was immediate: Victor twitched and his eyes snapped up to Yuuri. His lips quirked into a smirk and he put his chin on an elbow, staring directly at Yuuri, seemingly unfazed, but Yuuri knew it was only a matter of time. He smiled at Victor pleasantly, upping the vibrating speed to a two and slipping the remote into his pocket to take a sip of his drink.

"You look really good tonight," he said casually, smirking when Victor blinked at him in surprise.

"Thank you, Yuuri," Victor replied, smiling at him in pure delight. "So do you."

"No," Yuuri shook his head lightly. "I mean it. You look..." He licked his lips, aware of how Victor's eyes followed the movement. "...really good."

And he did.

Victor's hair was brushed to the side, falling into his eyes in gentle waves unlike usual. He was wearing a deep blue, almost black v-neck sweater that looked so soft Yuuri wanted to touch it. Maybe wear it. Even though there was no way he would've ever been able to give it the same justice Victor could. It showed off the long line of Victor's beautiful neck and his perfect collarbones in a way that made Yuuri's tongue itch to run across the expanse of his unblemished skin, taste it, mark it, claim it.

He snapped out of his admiration when Victor's flush deepened. Unable to resist, Yuuri changed the pulse of the vibration into a shifting mode. Victor's mouth opened on a gasp and Yuuri almost gasped with him at the sight he made.

"Do you have any idea how gorgeous you actually are?"

Victor's eyelashes fluttered as he shifted his gaze down.

"People always tell me that," Victor admitted. "It's nothing new, but... somehow this coming from you is a little different."

"Good. Because I'm going to keep telling you that."

Victor's smile was small, one of those fragile ones that made Yuuri want to protect him from the world. Even now, he reached across the table without thinking and took Victor's hand, brushing his thumb against the soft pad of Victor's.

Before they could say much more the waiter brought their dishes and they started eating in silence. Once, in the middle of the meal, Yuuri saw Victor's hands pause as he took a deep breath as if to relax and Yuuri couldn't help a shiver of excitement.

Victor was feeling it.

The satisfaction warming up his chest felt far too alike arousal and Yuuri realized that that was what it was. He sneaked his hand into his pocket as he upped the speed and watched in delight how the flush on Victor's cheeks turned into something more than a simple "Oh, I'm feeling a little hot," could explain. Yuuri himself felt just a little bit hot as he watched Victor carefully take the next bite.

And Victor had noticed that, of course he would, so he made a show of it just for Yuuri. He opened his mouth wide, wrapped his tongue around his food and licked his lips in ways that made swallowing a challenge for Yuuri.

They finished their dinner among the palpable tension. Yuuri gave up all the pretences and started playing with the remote under the table, shifting speeds and pulsations at a whim, and taking immense pleasure from watching Victor twitch and shift and bite his lips to stifle his moans.

During one of those moments, the waiter came over and Yuuri's finger slipped into a faster level on accident. Victor squeaked, and then masked it with a cough when the poor waiter asked if everything was alright. Yuuri smiled at him apologetically.

"We'll have our desserts now," he said.

"Of course, sir. Right away."

The waiter took their plates and disappeared. Victor, at the same time, flushed and visibly affected, said:

"I'm going to take a bathroom break before we start on that. I'll be right back."

Yuuri smiled at him. "What a great idea, why don't I come with you? I'd love to wash my hands."

" _God_ , Yuuri, please–"

Yuuri hushed him with a smile. They both stood up and made their way to the bathroom. Inside, Yuuri closed the door behind them and after making sure they were alone he locked it before turning to Victor, who at that point looked as if he could jump him right there. Yuuri felt his skin tingle, so when Victor pulled him close by the elbow, he angled himself into him – a lean press of body to body as their mouths met in a kiss that was long overdue.

Victor moaned into him. "I don't think I can last long. I'm so– _Yuuri_."

Yuuri wasn't even listening. His hands were already at Victor's zipper, pushing down his pants and underwear. His fingers slipped to where the cord was sucked into Victor's hole and he rubbed at it, making Victor shiver.

"Ahh, Yuuri, please..."

Yuuri shushed him with kisses that he pressed to Victor's cheek and neck, thanking the gods again for the v-necks. He softly tugged on the cord, feeling it give with ease, and the quiet squelch of lube was drowned in a moan that left Victor's mouth. Unable to resist, Yuuri let it go and pushed a finger inside Victor, shivering at the way Victor bucked into his hand, wordlessly begging for more. And more Yuuri would give him.

He pulled away entirely and before Victor could whine for him, he dropped to his knees and tugged Victor's clothes all the way down. Victor's hand was already curling in his hair by the time Yuuri took his already leaking dick in hand, but Yuuri didn't mind. He didn't mind even when it tightened as he swallowed Victor's entire length in one go, sucking on it without any warning.

"Fuck, oh my– _fuck, Yuuri_ ," Victor moaned, and the way Yuuri's name rolled off his tongue made Yuuri's vision cloud.

He reached behind Victor, easily finding the cord of the vibrator again and he pushed two of his fingers inside Victor's hole. The stretch from the egg and the lube Victor had used to make it comfortable allowed the smooth entry and Yuuri moved his fingers in and out in a rhythm matching the moves of his head. He wrapped his tongue around the head of Victor's dick, sucking on it until his cheeks hollowed out, and Victor rewarded him with a loud groan.

"Just like that, Yuuri, please, I want to–"

Yuuri took as much of him in his mouth as he could, letting his free hand fall into his own lap to find the forgotten remote in his pocket and he switched the vibration into the highest setting. He could feel it on the very fingers that he kept on sinking into Victor's loosened asshole and he knew Victor was close because the sounds coming from him grew desperate and louder while the hand in Yuuri's hair tightened to the point of painful.

It was over far too soon and Yuuri couldn't pull away in time when Victor's cum flooded his mouth. He choked on some of it, sticky liquid flowing down his chin, but he didn't care about any mess they'd made for now. He stood up, spat the remnants of cum into the nearby faucet and opened the tap to wash his hands and clean up his face, leaving Victor to recover.

"Y-Yuuri," Victor moaned from where he was pressed against the wall. "The vibrator..."

Ah.

Yuuri turned around, looking at Victor, whose face was red and splotchy, whose breathing was still rough, whose body shifted and twitched gently in slight discomfort. Yuuri licked his lips, still able to taste Victor's cum on his tongue.

"Say please," he said.

"Please," Victor instantly moaned, looking at him with dazed eyes.

"You can do better than that," Yuuri chided, coming closer. He stopped right before Victor, resting his hands against the wall behind him as he smiled at him lighty. "What do you want from me, Vitya?"

His face was taken by Victor's hands and he was guided right to Victor's mouth. They kissed, small, shallow kisses, until Victor pushed his tongue inside Yuuri's mouth, moaning into him.

"Yuuri, please," he said again. "Turn it down."

Yuuri couldn't help being surprised. "Not off?"

There was a light in Victor's eyes that told him everything he needed to know. Oh, the fun was far from over. Yuuri quickly stuck his hand into his pocket and turned down the vibrations to a lazy level one. Victor sighed and sagged against him, nuzzling into the side of his face.

"That was amazing," Victor told Yuuri, and Yuuri couldn't disagree.

They stayed like that for a few seconds before Victor shifted back and Yuuri let him redress. Without waiting for him, Victor turned to the door, hand already on the handle, before he glanced over his shoulder with a smirk.

"You should probably cover that up a little," he told Yuuri cheerfully, glancing at Yuuri's boner.

_And then he left._

Yuuri took a deep breath, turning his head to stare at his mussed up reflection in the big mirror above the line of sinks.

"And I'm a tease?" he murmured to himself.

He washed his face and mouth again, rearranged his hair and shifted his clothes to hide the bulge in his pants, before he left the restroom. Victor was sitting at their table, perfect as always, and he smiled at Yuuri once he took his place.

"What took you so long?" Victor asked.

In revenge, Yuuri set the pace to level three.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you I'm gonna make up for the lack of smut in the last chap, I hope this did the trick? ;3c


	6. physical fatality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **day 6: bdsm**  
>  and angst. prepare the tissues yall. I'm still crying tbh

 

They were doing well. So well, in fact, that Yuuri should've known it wasn't going last. Like all good things that by some lucky twist of fate happened to him. His happiness and Victor's smiling eyes were distracting enough as it was, and so, when the bubble broke, Yuuri had no one to blame for how unprepared he was except for himself.

But even if by some chance he could've known, even if he'd been expecting _something_ , he wouldn't have been able to predict this.

"Vitya?" Yuuri asked, panic welling up his throat. The hand he was holding his phone up to his ear with trembled a little. "Are you okay? What happened?"

It was four in the morning, the clock on his nightstand announced in bold, red numbers, and Yuuri's brain snapped into awareness the second he heard the first sob from the other line. He was frozen for just a moment, a breathless second of fear and panic, before his heart jumpstarted and he pushed himself out of the bed.

"Vitya, please," he begged between the heart wrenching sobs. "What's wrong? Can I help? What do you need?"

 "Y-Yuuri..."

Victor's voice sounded even worse than Yuuri expected. It was rough and cracking, as if he had been crying for a long time before finally deciding to call Yuuri and it broke Yuuri's heart to think he'd been dealing with this, whatever it was, all alone.

"Where are you?" Yuuri asked. "Can I come see you?"

"I–" A sob cut off whatever Victor wanted to say.

"Vitya, please," Yuuri said gently. "Let me help."

There was a moment of silence, so still that Yuuri pulled his phone away from his ear to check if the call was still connected. When he pressed it back, a weepy voice told him:

"I'm at the penthouse."

Yuuri's shoulders sagged in relief.

"I'll be right there," he assured, already pulling on the first pair of sweats he could find. "Can you do something for me in the meanwhile, Vitya? Count the seconds until I get there?"

There was a rustle and a sniffle, and then a weak sounding "Okay," that made Yuuri smile sadly.

"I'll be with you soon, I promise ," he said and without waiting for the reply ended the call.

Leaving his room in only the sweats and his sleeping t-shirt, Yuuri jumped down the stairs. He grabbed the spare keys to Mari's sports car from the key box they kept in the storage room under the stairs and made his way to the garage. The engine roared when he shot through the streets not a minute later. He was going way over the speed limit, but there was no one around and the thought of Victor, crying, alone, made Yuuri's foot press the gas down harder.

The usual ride to Victor's took about thirty to forty minutes, but Yuuri blared through it in fifteen, hitting the brakes under Victor's building so hard he almost headbutted the steering wheel. Without worrying about proper parking, he locked the car and run inside. Having to wait for the lift, he realized that blood was thundering in his ears so loud he couldn't even hear anything else. When calming, deep breaths didn't help, he started pacing and almost tripped when he ran for the lift when the door finally opened.

The floors passed fast, but not fast enough, and Yuuri impatiently watched the numbers climb up, up, up, until the PH letters finally blinked down at him. Yuuri hurriedly stepped off the lift, looking around.

The apartment was dark. No light was on and he had to wait a moment for his eyes to get used to the dark before he could venture inside in search of Victor. He passed by the empty kitchen and an equally as empty living room. Walking into the bedroom, Yuuri expected to find Victor there, but the messy sheets were empty as well. Only thanks to the small stripe of light coming from under the bathroom door Yuuri managed not to give in to the panic that has already started to claw at his chest.

He came up to the door, knocking lightly before pushing it open. And his heart broke.

Victor was sitting under a running shower, still wearing his sleeping clothes as he curled on himself and hid his face in his arms while soft sobs racked through his body. He looked pitiful, lost, and Yuuri didn't waste any time in walking over. He turned the shower off first, grabbed one of the towels to wrap it around Victor's shoulders. Victor twitched at his touch, but Yuuri didn't bother speaking for now. He just took another towel and started to gently wipe Victor's arms.

Victor's body was cold, freezing almost. Yuuri's hands shook a little, but he steeled his core, because this wasn't the time to break apart. He needed to be strong, so Victor could lean on him, so he could help. He was done soon and bit his lip, unsure of what else to do, what he was allowed to do, when Victor spoke.

"One thousand six hundred twenty-three."

Yuuri froze for a moment and then took Victor's hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, saying: "One." He moved his lips a smidge and kissed Victor's chilled skin again, "Two." He kissed his hand again, moving up towards the wrist, like "Three, four, five."

When Victor's hand started trembling, Yuuri lifted his eyes to look at him and their eyes met.

"Yu-Yuuri..." Victor choked out, fresh tears welling up.

"I'm here," Yuuri said, squeezing his hand. "I'm here, Vitya."

Without a word more, Victor lurched forward, clinging to Yuuri and wrapping himself over him with as much strength as he could muster. Yuuri pulled him close, kissing the wet hair behind Victor's ear. With a heavy heart he listened to Victor's sniffles muffled into his shoulder and, unable to stand it, he wrapped his arms more securely around Victor's waist.

"Vitya," he said. "Let's move you to bed, okay? I'll carry you, so hold onto me, alright?"

The only response he got was the tightening of Victor's arms around his shoulders, but that was good enough. He shifted up and Victor pressed himself closer, wrapping his thighs around Yuuri's hips when Yuuri moved his hands under Victor's knees to better support him. Standing up with that much additional weight was hard and Yuuri's knees groaned in protest, but he didn't care if he broke them – he needed to do this and he was doing it.

They made it to the bed and Yuuri was about to set Victor down when he remembered the wet clothes.

"Vitya, darling," he said gently. "I will need you to stand for me for just a moment, okay? I want to take your clothes off. You'll get sick if you stay wet like that."

Victor's hold on him tightened, a clear no.

"Okay," Yuuri breathed. "Okay. If you don't want to, that's okay."

He turned around and instead of laying Victor down on the sheets, he pulled the covers back and sat on the mattress himself with Victor still wrapped around him. He laid back and pulled the covers around them to keep Victor warm, even if just a little. That done, he moved his hand to brush through Victor's wet hair and kissed his temple lightly.

"I'm here for you, Vitya," he whispered, unsure how it would help, but he needed to say _something_.

"Yuuri, I–" Victor started, breaking off as if he didn't have enough breath in his lungs to continue.

Yuuri soothingly rubbed his palm on his back. "You don't need to talk if you don't want to, if you can't. We can just stay like this if that's all you want. But if there is something I can do for you, anything, then, please, tell me."

He felt Victor shift, slight and uncertain, and then Victor pushed himself up to look into Yuuri's eyes.

"Make my mind stop," Victor pleaded, fingers tightening in Yuuri's shirt. "Just for a moment, I– Yuuri– I need to stop thinking. Please, make it stop..."

Before Yuuri could ask how, Victor was already leaning forward and kissing him. Yuuri let him, but he didn't kiss him back. Victor pulled away and his face, already so broken, crumbled even further. He turned away from Yuuri, lips trembling and hands forcefully unclenching from his shirt.

"No," Yuuri said. "No, no, don't get the wrong idea." He took Victor's wrists and held them gently. "I'm not saying no, it's just... Are you sure you want this? Is this a good idea right now? I'll do anything you want me to, but are you sure that _this_ is what you want?"

Victor looked at him, his eyes clouded, and he nodded. Swallowing hard, he leaned down to press his forehead to Yuuri's.

"Please," he repeated. "I'm sure, Yuuri, just– just make it stop."

And Yuuri couldn't do anything but obey.

He kissed Victor once, twice, and then pushed himself up to roll them around, cushioning Victor's fall with his arms. Victor sighed against him, pliant under his touch, and arched his hips into Yuuri's.

He was soft.

Yuuri could feel the press of Victor's dick even through their clothes and it was a miserable show of what he usually felt like. Yuuri ignored the thoughts that treacherously whispered about how bad of an idea it was and slipped his hands under Victor's wet t-shirt, hiking it up.

"Lift your arms up for me," he murmured, sliding his lips over Victor's jaw, and Victor did just that.

Yuuri dropped the wet shirt to the floor, nuzzling into Victor's neck and kissing his cold skin in hopes to warm it up just a little. Victor was shivering under his touch, from the cold or something else, Yuuri wasn't sure. He trailed kisses down Victor's chest and flicked his tongue over one of the perky nipples, pulling out a sigh from Victor. Sucking on it lightly, Yuuri slid one of his hands between them to softly palm at Victor's dick.

For a moment there it was unresponsive, making Yuuri think that he was right, that this wasn't what they should be doing, but when he bit lightly on Victor's nipple he the flesh under his hand harden. Surprised, he looked up to see Victor's chin angled up while the heels of his palms were biting hard into his eyes, hiding them from view.

"Do... do that again," Victor asked, breathily.

So Yuuri grazed his teeth on the sensitive skin, moved to the other nipple and after circling it with his tongue once, bit down on the nub. Victor gasped. And his dick hardened even more.

Unease furled in Yuuri's stomach, and he paused. Was this...?

He pushed himself up, hand resting on Victor's hip, and looked down at Victor. He looked miserable and Yuuri's heart hurt to realize there was only so little he could do to help. Even if it made him uncertain, even if he didn't necessarily want to do it, he knew that if Victor needed it, he would swallow his fears and do it. If Victor wanted it.

"Vitya," he called gently, waiting until Victor pulled his hands away from his face. "Do you want me to hurt you?"

Victor's eyes widened as he looked at Yuuri and for a second Yuuri believed he would say something like "Why would you say that?", but it didn't happen. What did happen was Victor shifting his gaze away and biting on his lip before breathing a hushed, almost scared "Yes."

Yuuri closed his eyes.

"Take your clothes off," he said, crawling off of Victor. "I'll be right back."

He left the room without looking back. He took a deep, shaky breath once he was out in the hall and for a moment he allowed his face to crumble. He'd never done anything like that, didn't even think about it, and the fear was settling low in his belly. Not the fear of actually hurting Victor, but the fear of being utterly unprepared, utterly lost and unsure of what to do. If it was something that Victor wanted, Yuuri would be glad to try it with him, but he would've liked to read up on how to keep it safe first. Actually _hurting_ Victor while hurting Victor was not something he wanted to do.

He took another deep breath, snatching Makkachin's leather leash and walking back to Victor's bedroom. Victor was lying naked on the bed, sprawled across the sheets, and his skin looked like a pale canvas in the dim light coming from the bathroom. Yuuri imagined it covered with red hand prints, hickeys and rash marks, and he shivered. Some deep part of him wanted this, but the rest...

Yuuri took out the lube from the nightstand drawer and threw it and the leash next to Victor onto the bed. He quickly shucked his clothes off and joined him, smiling a little when Victor's arms lifted to pull him close. They kissed, slow, unhurried. Testing the waters, Yuuri bit into Victor's lip a little harder than he normally would and Victor gasped.

"Are you sure?" Yuuri asked him again, in truth asking for himself more than for Victor.

"Yes, please..."

Yuuri pressed his lips to Victor's forehead in the last gentle touch. "Tell me when you want to stop. Anytime."

"Alright," Victor breathed, and that was it.

Yuuri pulled back, sitting on his heels as he stared down at Victor. His eyes were lost, but they still looked at Yuuri trustingly and Yuuri's heart beat hard in his chest at it.

He pinched the thin skin on Victor's hip.

"Turn over."

Victor obeyed and Yuuri was given a beautiful view of his back – all lean muscle and pert butt that he just couldn't resist touching. His hands kneaded Victor's ass briefly, before he leaned in and kissed the arch of Victor's spine right below his nape. Trailing little kisses down, he paused below Victor's shoulder blades, licking a line straight back up and sinking his teeth into the juncture of Victor's shoulder. The small groan that left Victor's mouth gave Yuuri a boost of confidence that he needed to carry on.

"Give me your hands," Yuuri ordered.

He grabbed Victor by the wrists and crossed them behind Victor's back, reaching blindly for the leash, which he then wrapped around them. Tightly, he knotted the leather as best as he could, pulling on it once to check the stretch. It was firm, tight but not enough to stop Victor's blood circulation.

He stroked a hand down one of Victor's arms, asking, "Good?"

Victor flexed his forearms, hands, wiggled his fingers, and replied with a slightly raspy, "Yeah."

"Good. Now on your knees."

Victor looked gorgeous even like that and Yuuri could've been content just staring at him: pink hole puckered and waiting for his touch, only half hard dick framed by his pale thighs, and big, supple ass that Yuuri immediately sunk his fingers in. He spread it out and pushed his thumbs into the delicate flesh, putting more pressure on it than he normally would've.

He pinched one buttock and Victor sucked in a sharp breath, so Yuuri did it again. And on the other side, until the skin began turning lovely pink, flushed and rosy. But that was hardly enough. He lifted his hand and carefully, but with enough strength to sting, slapped Victor's ass. It jiggled entrancingly, but the thing that made Yuuri heat up was the filthy moan that slipped past Victor's lips, so needy and wretched that Yuuri's dick twitched in interest.

"Did you like that?" he asked.

"Y-yes," Victor gave a shaky reply. "Please, Yuuri, more..."

Yuuri lifted his other hand and slapped Victor's ass again, not fully understanding why it felt so good, but not in the right mind to question it at the moment. Victor moaned, loud and approving, and that was enough for Yuuri at this time.

He grabbed the lube and squirted some generously onto his palm, coating his fingers before rubbing them over Victor's asshole. Pinching the underside of Victor's buttock, he pushed a single finger inside. The muscles spasmed briefly around it, but he didn't wait and pulled it out, pushing it in not long after and once more pinching Victor's butt. Victor groaned, his hips shaking. Yuuri stroked his hand over the red flesh of Victor's ass before he put his finger back inside. This time it went in smoother, and Yuuri focused on stretching Victor properly, one finger first, two, three, until he could sink into him with ease.

Meanwhile, he let his other hand slide between Victor's thighs. He took the neglected dick in hand and gave it a few slow tugs, leaning down to bite into Victor's ass, since his hands were occupied. Victor's moans grew in volume, bringing arousal down to Yuuri's dick in powerful waves of heat.

Despite it all, though, Yuuri did notice that Victor was more quiet than usual. Less vocal about what he wanted, what he liked. It sat wrong with Yuuri, something heavy burning behind his eyelids whenever he closed his eyes, but there was nothing he could do to make it better, so instead he filled Victor's silence with his own voice, hoping it'd be enough.

"Look at you, Vitya," he was saying. "You're sucking up my fingers so greedily. Do you want me to fill you up with something else? Is that it? Are my fingers not enough for you?"

He curled them inside Victor, pulling another moan out of him. He continued working him open just for a moment longer before he removed both his hands from Victor's body to put on a condom. Once done, he pressed his dick against Victor's ass, pushing his buttocks together around it and rubbing between them. He groaned.

"Is this what you want?" he asked. "Do you want this dick?" He bit his nails into the soft flesh of Victor's hip, feeling him shake. "Should I give it to you?"

Yuuri pushed his dick higher so it touched Victor's tied hands with each thrust. A needy moan was his only reply as Victor ground his hips back into him, fingers trying to catch Yuuri's length, begging wordlessly for what Yuuri had to offer.

Finally done with the teasing, Yuuri pressed the tip of his dick against Victor's red hole and pushed inside relatively slow, but still faster than he normally would've. Victor choked on a sob, but he almost immediately pushed against Yuuri, and Yuuri took the hint. He started fucking him, a moderate pace at first to let Victor get used to it. Yuuri slapped his ass once, feeling it jiggle on his own skin, and the clench of Victor's muscles around him at the sudden pain was like a shock that made him gasp and groan as well.

"God, you're incredible," Yuuri moaned a little, slapping Victor's ass again. His hips stuttered out of rhythm. "Fuck, Vitya, you feel so good."

Victor's moan was muffled by the mattress when he pressed his face into it, but from his position above him Yuuri could see that Victor's cheeks were flushed as red as his ass. It made heat throb in Yuuri's body and he snapped his hips faster into Victor's hole, holding and pulling him in by his tied hands.

"Do you like being told how good you are?" Yuuri asked, babbling whatever came to his mind. "Do you like it when I thrust into you and tell you how good your ass feels around my dick?"

The muscles clenched around him, and Yuuri pinched one red ass cheek in revenge. They both groaned.

"You're doing do good, Vitya," Yuuri crooned. "Such a good, tight ass for me. Come on, clench that ass up."

Victor did, a tight squeeze around Yuuri's dick, and Yuuri gasped. "Ah, fuck, that's it... Good boy."

The wrists he was tugging on shifted when Victor pulled on the restraints accidentally and Yuuri let go of them, choosing to further spread Victor's legs apart with his knee instead and plough into him from above. The new angle made Victor sob, a harsh sound akin to a moan that choked off into a keen. Yuuri fucked into him hard and rough, no mercy in his movement, and Victor begged for none. In truth, he only bucked against Yuuri harder, muffling his moans into the mattress.

When Yuuri finally reached down to jerk Victor off, the swollen dick was heavy and hot in his hand. He gripped it hard, harder than he should've, and Victor's shudder made his own body tremble. It only took a few tugs and a couple thrusts more for Victor to come all over Yuuri's hand. His ass sucked Yuuri in as it pulsed the release around him. Yuuri groaned loudly, fucking Victor through it, and then, once Victor sagged briefly, he held his hips up with his hands and fucked him until his orgasm took him as well.

Darkness crept across his vision when it finally came and he spilled himself into the condom, pausing on a breath. Done, the only thing Yuuri wanted to do was collapse on Victor's back and stay there, unmoving, but he knew he couldn't do that just yet. He pulled out of Victor and untied the leash from Victor's wrists. Angry, red lines were marring the pale skin, making Yuuri feel like he should apologize, but the words just weren't there.

He shifted off the bed, left the leash on the nightstand, discarded the condom and fetched a wet towel from the bathroom to wipe Victor's body with. He helped Victor turn over, gently moving the cloth over his abused flesh. Victor sighed every time the cold cloth touched a patch of particularly angry marks, so Yuuri lingered there a moment, letting him soak the relief for a while longer.

Once that was over, Yuuri crawled back into bed, resting close to Victor, but not close enough to touch and searched his face. It was red, still completely flushed, and he looked tired and worn out, but when Yuuri's eyes met Victor's, there was a soft kind of gratitude in Victor's gaze. Yuuri swallowed, feeling just a little bit broken himself.

"Can I touch you?" he asked, uncertain.

It was Victor who shifted closer, snuggling into Yuuri, and Yuuri wrapped his arms around him protectively. He kissed the top of Victor's hair, which somehow dried during sex.

"Was that... okay?" Yuuri asked once more.

He didn't know what proper procedure was after you had someone tied and rammed on your dick for such a long time. He felt like he was walking on eggshells and he knew Victor could feel it to. Despite that, Victor nodded, pressing a kiss to Yuuri's collarbone, right where he kept his face hidden from view. He clearly didn't want to talk and Yuuri didn't want to push him, so he left it at that, only reaching down to the foot of the bed to bring the covers up to hide them from chilly air of the early morning.

They stayed cuddled like that until sleep crept up on Yuuri and he slipped into dreams full of darkness and uncertainty that still churned in his stomach even as he slept.

 

***

 

He woke up to an empty bed. An empty bed, empty room, empty bathroom.

Worry instantly settled in his stomach and Yuuri jumped out of bed, barely having half a mind to pull on his sweats that he found neatly folded on the covers by his feet. He didn't bother with a shirt and stepped into the living room area, which was just as empty. The panic crawled up his spine fast and then it settled as fast as it came when he spotted Victor standing next to the kitchen island. Relief washed over Yuuri, his feet carrying him to Victor almost without his influence.

Victor looked up from his phone when Yuuri was close. His face was tight, tired and swollen from all the crying. Frankly, he looked horrible, and Yuuri's heart broke at the fragile, tiny smile Victor greeted him with. With slow motions, Yuuri touched Victor's arm, gauging his reaction, and when Victor didn't flinch away he stepped closer and pressed a kiss to Victor's cheek.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked, not hoping for it.

Victor released a breath, not a verbal answer, but answer enough. He leaned a little into Yuuri as if standing on his own was still too much of a challenge. Yuuri wrapped an arm around Victor's shoulders. He wasn't expecting Victor to talk, not much anyway, so hearing his gravelly voice came as a surprise.

"They found proof," Victor said and Yuuri stiffened with fear. "Yakov did it."

"Why? Why would he–"

"I don't know," Victor interrupted him, running a hand through his unkempt hair in obvious frustration. "I'm meeting him today. In two hours. I'm–" He took a deep breath that sounded almost like a sob and Yuuri rubbed gently at his back, a useless effort at comforting. "I'm _so scared_ , Yuuri."

Yuuri desperately wished there was something he could say, something he could do to help, but as he stood there next to Victor he realized that there wasn't. And it hurt.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked. "I don't have to be with you when you talk, not if you don't want that, but maybe just walk you there or... I don't know..."

Victor looked at him then, eyes oh so tired, and smiled sadly at him. "No, it's fine. I have to handle this alone."

Yuuri's heart trembled in his chest and his hand tightened where it was resting on Victor's hip. Victor leaned into him, a warm, gentle presence against his side, making Yuuri blink away his own tears.

"Just..." Victor said, pausing, hesitating. "Can I..."

"Anything," Yuuri reassured softly. "Whatever you need. I'm here for you."

"Can you stay here? Until I return?"

Victor was unsure, uncertain, so unlike his usual confidence, and Yuuri honestly didn't want to leave him alone to deal with something so big, so scary, but he knew he had no choice. And if the only thing Victor wanted from him was to be there when the world comes crashing down on him, he would be there, waiting with his arms wide open.

"Of course," he promised, kissing the top of Victor's head which rested on his shoulder. "I'll stay for as long as you want me to."

 

***

 

An hour turned into two, two turned into three, three into four, and Yuuri was surprised that his pacing hadn't worn out a hole in the expensive carpet that covered the living room's floor. When the sun was starting to go down, he decided that enough was enough and, just to busy his hands and mind with something other than worrying, he began preparations for dinner. Victor's kitchen was poor in ingredients, but somehow Yuuri managed to find enough for two plates of pasta.

It was a little after six when the lift door chimed open and Yuuri almost jumped out of his skin in his hurry to wipe his hands on the makeshift apron, but Victor passed through the living room so fast that he didn't even manage to open his mouth to say hi. A door to the bathroom slammed closed a second later and Yuuri was left there standing with a wooden spoon and a tomato sauce boiling on the stove.

Fighting down his worry, Yuuri returned to cooking to give Victor his space for just a moment. He finished the sauce, carefully listening for any sounds coming from the direction of Victor's bedroom, but the penthouse was quiet apart from the slow simmering of the sauce. Fifteen minutes later, even cooking couldn't soothe him down, so Yuuri slowly made his way to the bathroom and lifted his hand to knock. He hesitated for just a moment and then rapped his knuckles on the smooth wood, like he had the night before, with heart in his throat and fear making him dizzy.

The toilet flushed on the other side and Yuuri could just imagine what happened. So when the door opened and Yuuri noticed the tears, he could tell that whatever happened in the meeting it must have all been wrong. But what caught his attention the most was Victor's expression. It was tight, just like that morning, yet it wasn't sad or lost or scared. For the first time ever Yuuri truly saw what anger looked like on Victor and it was ugly, red, and ruthless.

Without even waiting to be asked, Victor spat:

"It was my mother. _My mother_ had him killed."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //lies there, killed


	7. this is heaven in hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **day 7: positions**  
>  a big shoutout to [@saniika](http://saniika.tumblr.com/) who beta-ed this chapter, thank you so much, sweetheart!!! <3

 

They stayed in bed, huddled between the sheets the whole night. Yuuri kissed Victor's head and rubbed his back every time he woke up from restless dreams, getting little to no sleep himself, but he knew he wouldn't have been able to relax anyway.

Victor cried.

For the second night in a row he cried his eyes out, even if this time there were words of anger and betrayal to accompany the tears. Yuuri stayed silent during those outbursts, letting Victor throw it all off his shoulders, spit the venom from his tongue, in hope that it will make Victor feel better. Did it? Yuuri honestly couldn't tell.

They crawled out of bed as wrung out as they were when they crashed down. Yuuri didn't want to leave, but Victor all but pushed him into the lift. He kissed him, a small, short kiss that left Yuuri aching in his uselessness. Before the lift took him away, he grabbed Victor's hand and kissed it, wishing he could do something more for him.

"Stay safe," Yuuri said, dropping Victor's hand. "And call me, text, if you need anything. Okay?"

Victor's smile was the last thing Yuuri saw before the lift doors closed and it didn't settle his heart even one bit.

 

***

 

Two days, zero calls and a few measly "I'm fine. Busy. Sorry, we'll talk later?" texts after, Yuuri opened up an envelope with the Nikiforov logo standing proudly in for the seal.

"An invitation?" he asked Mari, who was the one to hand him the thing in the first place.

"A formal dinner," she explained. "Victor's finally taking over after his father. About time, too." She huffed before measuring him with a careful eye. "Mom wants to know if you're going."

Yuuri could only nod dumbly.

 

***

 

Seeing Victor stand at his mother's side and greet the guests with smiles and handshakes made Yuuri's stomach churn. He wanted to ask _what the hell_ , but a closer look at Victor told him that he wouldn't get a reply. Not now. Not in front of all these people that Victor was successfully fooling into believing that everything was fine.

His smiles were all fake.

Confused was only one of the things Yuuri was when he stepped up to Victor, bypassing Victor's mother who was greeting his parents. Victor looked at him with a smile, as fake as the rest of them, but his eyes were just a tad bit warmer than they were to the rest of them. Or so Yuuri liked to think.

Yuuri opened his mouth, but Victor shook his head barely enough to notice. He placed a kiss in the corner of Yuuri's mouth, a short, soft one, before he pulled back and moved on to greet the others, not even giving Yuuri any room to argue. Yuuri stared at him, and stared, until Mari jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow and he stumbled after their parents. But not without once more looking back at Victor and his unnaturally straight shoulders, tense jaw and fake smiles...

...because the lips that had touched his face were trembling and Yuuri didn't know what to make out of any of that.

 

***

 

The dinner went on as usual: there was food, toasts, speeches, congratulations.

And then there was police and an outcry of scandalised guests and Victor's impassive face as his mother turned on to demand they better leave her property if they did not have a warrant and–

"Irina Nikiforov, you're under arrest for ordering the murder of Konstantin Nikiforov. You have the right to–"

"What?!" She exclaimed, shocked, ripping her arm away from the oncoming hand of the officer. "I didn't do anything. What proof do you have? Why would I want my own husband dead? That makes no sense at all!"

"Then I suggest you contact your lawyer as soon as possible, ma'am," the man replied calmly. "And a damn good one, too, because the man you hired to do your dirty work has confessed to everything. With the money we traced from him to you it'll be a difficult charge to battle." He stepped closer to her, reaching out to grab her. "For your own good, please do not resist us."

She reared her head then, offended, and held out her wrists for him to handcuff like she was better than him. Her face clearly said that she wasn't planning to stay in custody for long.

"Vitya, call Sasha, he'll know what to do," she said imperiously, clearly not expecting refusal.

But Victor stood up then, face a stone cold mask, and Yuuri's heart stopped as he watched him stare his mother down.

"You should call him yourself from your cell," he said in a voice unlike anything Yuuri had heard before.

"Victor," she chided in as cold a tone, making the full name she'd used sound like a curse. "What are you doing?"

He smiled at her, an angry, dangerous smile that made Yuuri's skin crawl, before he turned to the gathered guests.

"We've toasted to almost all the important things already, but I feel like we need one more to commemorate the occasion." He lifted his glass right towards his mother and in a serious voice said, "To my father, Konstantin Nikiforov. May he finally rest in peace."

They dragged Irina Nikiforov out and, even when she kept on calling Victor's name in a pitched with desperation voice, Victor did not look back. Not once.

 

***

 

Abuzz with gossip, the guests started slowly leaving the mansion car by car without as much as saying goodbye to their host who had disappeared almost as soon as the dinner was over. Yuuri stayed behind even as his parents and sister followed the other guests' example.

"Make sure Vicchan is okay," Yuuri's mother told him, smiling sadly. "He's always welcome to stay over with us if he feels lonely. Tell him that for me, alright?"

Yuuri only smiled back and hugged her, watching their car disappear behind the estate gate for a moment. He turned on his heel and without dillydallying stepped into the mansion again. None of the staff stopped him. There was too much to clean up after dinner, too much chaos to deal with for anyone to care about Yuuri's presence at this point. Yuuri was glad. It left him the room to move through the house unbothered.

Slowly climbing the stairs to the more private part of the Nikiforov's mansion, Yuuri found his way blocked by the familiar silhouette of Victor's protégé. The teen was scowling – he seemed to always be scowling around Yuuri – but when Yuuri moved to pass him without a word, since he was in no mood for arguments, he was surprised when the teen addressed him in a fairly neutral voice:

"He's in his room," he said. "Locked himself up and doesn't want to see anyone, but I bet he'll see you."

Surprised, Yuuri couldn't help but ask, "Weren't you against us being together?"

"Don't get me wrong, I still am." The teen shot him a glare, but now it was somehow less intimidating than it used to be. "But if Victor fucks this up the Nikiforov name will mean shit to anyone that matters. And my reputation hangs on his, so you better go up there and fix his ass. I don't care how. I don't want to know. Just make him functional again."

Yuuri smiled indulgently, because, really, that was the most unconvincing lie he'd heard in a long while. His smile did not go unnoticed and the teen's cheeks covered in a flush before he promptly looked away, scowling even fiercer than a minute ago.

"What's your name?" Yuuri asked, unable to stay mad at him when he so obviously cared about Victor. They were never introduced to each other formally, but from then on, Yuuri believed they'd be able to get along just fine.

"Yuri."

Yuuri couldn't help the surprised laughter, even if Yuri's hackles rose in offence.

"What the hell are you laughing at?!"

"Nothing," Yuuri quickly replied, shaking his head. "I'm Yuuri. It's nice to finally meet you properly."

Yuri's eyes narrowed down on him when he realized the irony of how similar their names were. Then he snorted.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, already walking away. "Fix that old man."

And Yuuri planned to do just that.  

Standing before Victor's door, Yuuri remembered the times when he was a kid and they sneaked around the house during parties, always coming back to Victor's locked for privacy room. Victor had used to keep a key hidden outside for things like that and Yuuri wasn't surprised when he pushed the huge pot of the plant standing not far from the door to find a key right underneath. It might have been that Victor simply forgot it was there, it's been years after all, but Yuuri liked to think that it might have been a little more than that. A subtle sign that only Yuuri could read.

He opened the lock with no trouble and stepped inside, closing the door behind himself quietly. The room was empty, but the slight movement of the curtain told him where to go. Pulling it away, Yuuri stopped just a step before going out onto the balcony that hung on the side of the house. Victor stood there in stilted silence, hands clenching the golden railing, as he watched the last cars take the guests off his property.

Yuuri didn't need to look long to know how Victor was feeling. There was loneliness in his entire posture, stress in his back, defeat in the slump of his shoulders, and his bowed neck clearly told a story of his guilt. Yuuri's heart throbbed in his chest when he took the final few steps to stand with him. He rested his hand on the small of Victor's tense back, letting the warmth of his palm melt away just a little of that pressure.

Victor looked at him then, as if he knew it was Yuuri all along, and his eyes begged for something that Yuuri couldn't understand until Victor shifted closer, resting his hip against Yuuri's. Wrapping an arm around him, Yuuri curled into Victor like it was him who needed the comfort, but it was Victor who slumped into the embrace almost starved, as if he'd only been waiting for someone to come and take all of this weight off his shoulders.

"I'm so glad you're here, Yuuri," Victor whispered.

"Always," Yuuri replied. "I'm here for you, Vitya, no matter what."

Victor sighed, a tiny, content, but oh so tired sound that cut into Yuuri's heart like a knife. He held Victor closer, pressing a kiss to his jaw when words just weren't enough.

"Stay with me tonight?" Victor asked hesitatingly, as if Yuuri had ever been able to deny him anything.

"You've got me, Vitya," Yuuri assured him softly. "You've got me."

 

***

 

Yuuri didn't think he'd be able to fall asleep, but when he awoke with a start, he realized that by some miracle he had. Victor was slumped next to him, curled in on himself like a small child, but he didn't stir when Yuuri abruptly sat up. The sun was already bright, which meant they must have slept a good few hours, but there were still dark circles under Victor's eyes. They didn't make him look ugly, no. They simply made him look as human and as easily breakable as the rest of them.

Smiling a tad sadly, Yuuri brushed a thumb over one of them, light enough not to wake Victor up, and then carefully slid out of bed to let Victor sleep as long as he could.

He needed it.

Yuuri did too, but his stomach was empty and he didn't want to risk waking Victor up with its growling. He dressed himself in his pants and only buttoned up a few of his shirt's buttons before leaving and closing the door after himself. The house was completely quiet as Yuuri made his way through the hallways he remembered like ghosts from a previous life. He was just a child when he was last among these walls, covered with paintings and drapes of pure luxury. It felt a little strange being there again, but Yuuri would shrug that strangeness off if it meant staying by Victor's side.

Yuuri was walking down the stairs to move into the kitchen and beg for some breakfast when the front door was opened before the doorman could even move and someone Yuuri had only seen on a spare few occasions burst into the mansion like a hail cloud, dark and ready to explode.

"Where is he?" Yakov demanded as soon as his eyes rested on Yuuri.

"Victor?" Yuuri asked, not yet fully coherent.

Yakov clicked his tongue impatiently. "Yes, Victor. Where is he? His room?"

He was moving without waiting for Yuuri's reply and Yuuri did the first thing he thought of – he caught Yakov's elbow before the man could make it even one step onto the stairs. The glare that Yakov sent his way was far scarier than anything young Yuri could've ever mustered and Yuuri found himself immediately letting go and taking a rushed step back.

He swallowed, heart yammering against his chest, and licked his lips. Suddenly fully awake, he asked:

"What do you need from him? He's still sleeping."

"Sleeping? It's almost one in the afternoon," Yakov frowned. "How long does he plan to laze around? There's work to do, especially now after the stunt yesterday."

Yuuri didn't touch him this time when Yakov took to the stairs, but the anger that boiled inside him turned into confidence, so he did nothing to stop his mouth from running as it pleased.

"He just found out that his mother killed his father," Yuuri's snide voice made Yakov stop midstep. "The least you can do to show some compassion is to let him sleep for one day."

Yakov turned to him, face cloudy. "You think Nikiforovs got their fortune by mourning, boy? There is nothing else Vitya needs other than to be thrown back into repairing the image of this family before everything his father has worked for goes to hell. He's a Nikiforov, it's his obligation to the name and his legacy."

"Then he will do that tomorrow," Yuuri snapped. "You're all so concerned with Victor being a Nikiforov, have you ever stopped for a moment to think about him? Victor?" Yakov was opening his mouth to probably tell him off, but Yuuri didn't care to wait and listen. "Have you thought of Vitya, the boy who used to trail after you at all those parties, playing pranks on you? Vitya, who grew into a man who cried himself hoarse in my arms at the thought that it was you who murdered his father? He's not just a Nikiforov, Mr. Feltsman, he's Vitya as well."

Yakov stared at him, his lips pursed in a tight line, but Yuuri could see the way his eyes softened just a little. Because Yakov did care. Just like young Yuri did. In their own, complicated ways they cared about Victor, and Yuuri was glad Victor had people like them in his life.

"It was his mother," Yuuri finished, voice quieter than before. "Just give him a day to recover. Please."

Yakov grunted and swooped down the stairs.

"Tell him I expect him in my office first thing tomorrow," he said, leaving before Yuuri could answer.

 

***

 

Victor was still sleeping when Yuuri returned with a tray full of pancakes, jam, butter, honey, and a full pot of freshly brewed tea. Yuuri set them all on the table and took a place on the sofa which stood directly opposite the bed so he could see when Victor wakes up. Slowly going through the food, Yuuri was startled into almost dropping the utensils when all of a sudden Victor sat up, looking around the room wildly.

Once his eyes fell on Yuuri though, he stopped, and Yuuri offered him a small smile.

"Hi," he said, pretty certain that "Good Morning," wouldn't have been appropriate.

"Hi," Victor replied, rubbing at his face and swallowing a yawn. "What time is it?"

"Something past one."

Victor groaned, falling back onto the bed and disappearing from Yuuri's view.

"Mr. Feltsman was here," Yuuri continued. "Said you can have today off."

He omitted the entire conversation, deciding it wasn't really important. What mattered was that Victor didn't have to do anything at all today, unless he wanted to.

"Really?" Victor sounded disbelieving. "Doesn't sound like Yakov."

Yuuri smiled to himself, hiding it behind his cup of tea. "I might have persuaded him a little."

Victor rolled out of bed, came over to the sofa and without giving Yuuri any warning crawled into his lap, almost making him drop his cup and its contents on the expensive plush carpet.

"Did you fight Yakov for me, Yuuri?" Victor asked, a breathy laugh on his lips.

"Just a little," he admitted, angling his face for a kiss, which Victor quickly bestowed upon him.

"My knight in shining armour," Victor teased.

Yuuri only wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer, so he could lean forward and set his cup on the table. Victor took that as an invitation and clung to him in a tight, but relaxed hug.

"Are you hungry?" Yuuri asked.

He knew very well that Victor had almost nothing to eat at the dinner the day before and it's been long hours since then. He must have been starving.

"Not really," Victor replied, not even looking at the food.

Yuuri sighed, lifting a hand to Victor's hair. He brushed his thumb on Victor's jaw, comforted by the slight prickle of stubble. He didn't want to make Victor do anything he didn't want to, but eating was one of those things that he had to insist upon.

"You should eat something. Just a bit is fine." At Victor's lack of response Yuuri turned his head and murmured into his ear: "Come on. For me."

Victor shifted in his arms, sitting back. "Feed me, then."

Instead, Yuuri leant in and kissed Victor's lips, once, then deeper, smiling when Victor kissed him back like he didn't want to stop. Yuuri pulled away though, reached over to the table and ripped off a piece of his half finished pancake. Coating it in honey first, he carefully brought it up to Victor's lips, which opened for him with no qualms and wrapped around Yuuri's fingers when he put it on Victor's tongue. Victor chewed and swallowed, and then he licked Yuuri's fingers clean, never breaking eye contact. Yuuri knew where this was going, his body did as well, slowly waking up, but before he allowed the heat to rush to his head, he pulled his hand away and fed Victor another piece. But first, he kissed the sweet honey lips that Victor offered to him with a smile.

Between the kisses and the pancake Victor finished off Yuuri's plate, licking his lips only to drive Yuuri insane.

"Now," Victor breathed, "I might be hungry for something else."

He shifted in Yuuri's lap, the slide of his bare skin hot even through the material of Yuuri's pants. Yuuri bit back a groan when Victor pressed himself down into Yuuri's crotch, hoping for a reaction which Yuuri was already too far gone to deny. Yuuri's arm tightened around Victor's waist, pulling him even closer so he could lift his hips and rub into Victor's ass.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat some more?" Yuuri asked with difficulty, because not for a second did Victor stop his grinding and all of Yuuri's thoughts were muddled with desire.

"I wouldn't mind something to drink instead," Victor said.

His fingers trailed down Yuuri's chest right to the button of his pants, which he then popped open and slid his hand inside. Yuuri's breath came up short when Victor's fingers wrapped around his shaft. He let his head fall back once Victor started stroking him, but the quiet gasps that left his open mouth were drowned out by Victor's voice.

"You've been so good to me these past few days, Yuuri," Victor was saying, thick with appreciation and warmth. "I want to repay you in some way. Whatever you want, okay? So just tell me how you want me."

There were so many ways Yuuri wanted him that he honestly felt like his tongue was tied in his mouth as he couldn't come up with a decision on which one should be first. Victor kept stroking him at a leisurely pace, almost lazily sliding Yuuri's foreskin up and down until Yuuri's dick was hard enough to stand without help. Victor's hand stopped then and he pushed himself up to his knees, towering over Yuuri and leaning down enough so he could look him in the eyes.

"What do you want, Yuuri?" he whispered against Yuuri's lips, kissing him lightly.

Once, twice, by the third Yuuri's hands pulled Victor's hips down hard so he could rub his shaft between Victor's barely covered ass cheeks. Victor's arms circled Yuuri's neck as he pushed into Yuuri's dick, and Yuuri suddenly knew what he wanted.

"Ride me," Yuuri managed to say between kisses. "Just like this. Ride me, Vitya."

Victor groaned into Yuuri's mouth. "God... yes, Yuuri, yes!"

Yuuri slipped his hands to Victor's ass, spreading the buttocks so wide that Victor's briefs completely slid off of them and bunched up in the crease of his ass. Through the thin material of his own pants Yuuri could feel the weight of Victor's balls rubbing against him sensually. He let his fingers dip between Victor's legs and from behind he stroked the tips over the soft flesh, earning another groan from Victor. Swallowing hard, Yuuri pulled his hand back with great effort.

"Get us some lube," he told Victor, patting his bare thigh, and almost choking on a laugh when Victor sent him a petulant glare.

"You're so cruel to me, Yuuri," Victor whined, but he got off of Yuuri's lap to fetch what they needed.

"Weren't I so good just moments ago?" Yuuri asked back, watching the way Victor's ass moved as he walked. Victor didn't even bother to readjust his briefs, leaving his ass almost perfectly bare, and Yuuri couldn't deny that the sight was doing things to him. "Isn't that what this reward is for?"

Yuuri shimmied his pants and underwear down his hips, leaving them hanging past his knees. He palmed at his dick when Victor bend down to get the lube from his nightstand drawer. Victor's eyes predictably turned to him the next moment and whatever smart comment he had to reply to Yuuri was gone as soon as he saw Yuuri sitting there and stroking himself. Their gazes met and Yuuri swiped a thumb over the sensitive head of his dick, arching his hips into his hand with a moan.

"Are you going to just stand there?" he teased, aware of the hunger in Victor's eyes. "Or are you going to come here and join me?"

Victor needn't have been told twice. He was in Yuuri's lap a few seconds later, kissing him deeply and groaning into Yuuri's mouth. Yuuri quickly took the lube from him, slathering his fingers with it, and with the other hand he pulled Victor's briefs to the side so that he could get at Victor's hole freely. It twitched under his fingers and Yuuri grinned into Victor's kiss, making him moan in frustration.

"Don't tease, Yuuri. I've missed you," Victor begged, grinding his ass down on Yuuri's dick and Yuuri had to give him that one. They were both too frazzled for teasing.

So he didn't.

He pushed one finger inside Victor, shivering at the tremble that wrecked through Victor's body. To distract him from the discomfort, Yuuri moved his other hand between their bodies, palming at Victor's dick while he fingered him open. Victor was supporting himself on Yuuri's shoulders, but the more Yuuri's hands moved, the more he bowed on himself, curling into Yuuri until his head could rest on Yuuri's shoulder as well. But Yuuri didn't complain about the way Victor was hiding. He was too busy stretching him open to the sound of squelching lube and tiny, aborted moans that Victor tried, and failed, to swallow.

Yuuri turned his chin up the tiniest bit, latching his lips on Victor's neck and sucking. One hickey, two, kisses to Victor's gorgeous collarbones, Yuuri couldn't resist trailing his tongue across Victor's pale skin that was almost given to him as an offering in the beautiful arch of Victor's neck. He curled the fingers that kept on caressing Victor's soft, tender insides and Victor twitched when they brushed against his prostate. He bumped closer into Yuuri, pushing up against his dick, and Yuuri muffled a moan by biting into the juncture of Victor's shoulder.

"More, Yuuri, please," Victor begged then, pushing his ass down into his hand.

Yuuri spread his fingers inside him, testing the stretch and Victor moaned again. His hand moved down to grab at Yuuri's dick, stroking him at the same time as he fucked himself on Yuuri's fingers. Victor whined in such a needy way that Yuuri had to bite on his lip to stop himself from coming then and there.

"Fuck me, Yuuri... I want you now."

"Condom," Yuuri reminded him, his voice just as desperate.

"I don't care," Victor groaned. He hadn't stopped moving for a moment and Yuuri could clearly tell it wouldn't take them long to finish. "I'll clean up later. Just... let me–"

There was nothing else for Yuuri to say other than, "Then do it. Ride me like this, Vitya. Oh god, please–"

Eagerly, Victor pushed himself up higher and Yuuri slipped his dick under his ass. The head brushed against the briefs and the soft inside of Victor's thigh, and Yuuri panted when it finally lined up against the tender ring of muscles of Victor's hole. Victor sunk down on it, slow and careful, but steady and unrelenting, until he was fully seated on Yuuri's dick, up to the balls. It left him gasping shallowly for breath, while Yuuri, with closed eyes and clenched teeth, fought against the overpowering urge to fuck up into his sweet, tight heat.

And then Victor moved and Yuuri saw stars.

" _Fuck_ ," he cursed.

His hands automatically went to Victor's hips to steady him, but Victor didn't even need it. He was pushing off and down on Yuuri's dick with the sheer strength of his thighs and Yuuri could feel himself getting even more aroused, as if such a thing was possible.

"Yuuri," Victor moaned. "Yuuri, _Yuuri_..."

Yuuri could only respond with a moan of his own. He wrapped a hand around Victor's dick, stroking it lightly while Victor's ass bounced on his thighs. The slap of skin was different than how they usually did it and Yuuri could feel his ears turn red at how lewd it sounded, but it felt far too good to stop. The smooth slide of his dick, the bare heat of Victor surrounding him... It made Yuuri's mind turn into a mush completely made up of one thing and one thing only.

"Vitya, god, you feel so good," he groaned as his hips twitched up into Victor.

Victor's hands on Yuuri's chest tightened and the fabric pulled around him, but Yuuri wouldn't be able to bring himself to care even if Victor ripped it apart. He was so close and so fast that nothing else mattered to him other than sinking deep into Victor's ass and coating his hole with his cum. Victor's thoughts must have been going the same way, because his hips moved faster at the same time as his moans broke out of his mouth in a cascade of Yuuri's name and soft sobs.

"Yuuri... I'm–" Victor broke on a gasp, but that didn't stop him. "There's something I've been wanting to– to say... for a while."

Flushed and moaning, Yuuri couldn't help the whine in his voice. "Right now?"

Victor's breathy laugh turned into a moan when Yuuri bucked against him, unable to help himself. Victor's ass was sucking him in, the friction so delightful and warm that he just couldn't think of anything else at the moment.

"Sorry for the inconvenience," Victor continued talking as if Yuuri's dick wasn't ramming into him.

He put his hands on the back of the sofa behind Yuuri's head and ground his hips to a stop, forcing Yuuri to stop with him. Yuuri groaned, pushing his face into Victor's shoulder. Victor only kissed his sweaty temple.

"What–"

Yuuri's breath came too short for what he wanted to ask, so he swallowed, licked his lips and then tried again, focusing extra hard to ignore the urgent pulsing of his dick that was still buried deep inside Victor.

"What did you want to say?"

"Look at me, Yuuri," Victor asked.

Yuuri did. Victor's face was flushed and Yuuri knew his own was a perfect mirror of it, but there was something in Victor's gaze that was different. Or maybe... maybe it really wasn't, maybe it was as honest a reflection of him as one could get. It made Yuuri's chest instantly tighten.   

"You've been a rock to me since I came back," Victor was saying. "You've given me a place to hide, a safe haven to return to. I don't remember ever feeling like this, it's so..." He shook his head lightly with a soft smile as if the feeling was too much to describe in words. "There are moments when I feel like I could be happy just staying by your side and not doing anything else for the rest of my life."

Yuuri's throat was as tight as his chest then and when he looked into Victor's face, so tender with adoration, warm and weepy, he himself was fighting back tears.

"So I just wanted to say thank yo–"

"I love you," Yuuri cut him off, unable to keep the words down anymore.

Victor's eyes widened and Yuuri flushed neck deep when he realized what he'd done. Yuuri's fingers, still splayed on Victor's hips, twitched when he looked away, a little embarrassed, but mostly feeling vulnerable and open. It wasn't a bad feeling, though. It felt like he was finally getting this life-long weight off of his shoulders and he knew that if there was one person he could trust with his heart it would be Victor.

"I had a crush on you when I was a kid, sure," Yuuri admitted. "But since you returned it just grew and grew and grew into this _thing_ , and Vitya," Yuuri looked him in the eye, "if you only asked, I would give you everything, anything, whatever you want. I just–"

Victor's fingers on Yuuri's lips stopped the flood of words spilling from Yuuri's mouth.

"I've never been in love," Victor admitted quietly, eyes gazing at Yuuri warmly, mouth curled into one of those fragile smiles that made Yuuri's heart flutter, and voice soft like a caress. "But if love feels anything like this, then I'm glad you're my first."

Victor's lips were a little cold when they touched Yuuri's, but as far as their kisses went, this had to be one of the best. It was short and shallow, but the love Yuuri could feel brimming in their meshing breaths made it far more spectacular than he could've ever imagined. Slightly dizzy, Yuuri arched into Victor for another kiss, completely forgetting about the place their bodies were joined and jostling a moan out of Victor.

Yuuri took a shaky breath when Victor's ass squeezed around him in shock.

"I don't want to ruin the mood, but... Will you _please_ move now? I swear, Vitya, I love you, but if you don't move right now–"

Victor's laughter at his desperation was short-lived, because Yuuri thrust up into him impatiently and the laugh cut off into another high moan. Without any more prompting, Victor sunk down on Yuuri's dick, and Yuuri sucked in a greedy breath, meeting Victor thrust for thrust. His hips ached from the strain, but the heat that engulfed him and Victor's accompanying moans were worth any kind of pain.

They came almost at the same time: Yuuri a second faster, groaning deeply when Victor's ass spasmed around him as he released into Yuuri's hand. Catching their breaths was hard, but even when they had, Victor didn't move off of Yuuri. The cum was slowly dripping down Yuuri's dick, he could feel its lazy slide, but having Victor in his arms like that didn't feel half bad. He simply pulled Victor into his chest and rested his back against the sofa. Victor snuggled into him, wordlessly, and they stayed like that until Yuuri felt his dick soften enough to completely slip out of Victor.

"Maybe we should move and clean you up," Yuuri said, press his fingers against Victor's dripping hole to salvage what was left of the sofa.

He couldn't help himself from stroking the sensitive skin around it though, and Victor moaned brokenly into his neck.

"Carry me," Victor demanded, wrapping his arms around Yuuri's neck.

"Aren't you a spoiled thing?" Yuuri teased, pushing a finger into Victor's creamy hole and earning himself another moan.

"It's your fault. You spoil me, Yuuri," Victor pointed out contentedly and there was nothing Yuuri could say to deny it. It was true, after all.

"Hold on to me, princess," Yuuri said, kicking off his pants the rest of the way. "We'll get you all cleaned up and then..."

He paused, unsure of what they should do. Victor pulled away enough to look at him with a small, honest smile. He brushed his thumb sweetly against Yuuri's jaw, eyes warm and loving.

"We'll figure it out," Victor promised.

And Yuuri knew they would.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there you have it yall, THE END!   
> I had heaps of fun writing this and I hope you enjoyed this story ;3c if you have, pls make sure to check out my other yoi fics //wink wonk


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